The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows
by SeddieDestiny
Summary: Domination is what holds them together... Sam lets a secret slip to someone and things don't look good for their dominiative relationship... M for sexual actions... chapter 5 is up... two more chapters...
1. Keep the Blood in your Head

_**The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows…**_

**A/N- Attention Reader: WARNING! If you watch ICarly (like I do) yes I'm an immature adult… you shall never be able to watch the show the same again… (trust me… I can't watch one episode without the memory of sexual acts between Freddie and Sam… {Seddie for life} I used to be able to watch it like the adult I was… now… its sooooooo awkward!) Sorry if the storyline is off and/or non-understandable… I don't write a story outline before I begin (the outline and chapters sort of mirror the chorus of the song, The Quiet Things that No One Ever Knows **by** Brand New)… but this story was more like a try-out… and it's also my first ever fanfic… so it's a test of your wants and desires…**

**It will be rated M for future chapters… Although I have no true outline for this, I know I will be adding a Seddie lemon because I mean seriously who doesn't want that…**

Chapter One- "_Keep the blood in your head…_"

I sat. Hating the charade I had created, I sat. In this classroom where math was taught. I looked at that board that stood in front of me and began to see shapes. Shapes that turned into people, people that created an event. An event that explained the reason I was angry in this classroom. The boy drawing was kneeling and confessing his love to the girl drawing. Then, the girl drawing jumped forward grabbing the boy drawing and proceeded to make out with him. It was in my mind so often, I was barely able to hear anyone else, especially my best friends. But now, that event that festered in my mind, caused me to fluster in my seat. My friends would always know when something bothered me. One would hellishly make fun of me, while the other would comfort me heavenly and say that it was alright. You can guess which I liked to hear to cheer me up. I began to tap the desk trying to remember a song I once heard long ago.

*tap*tap*tap*

"I lie for only you, and I lie well… Hallejuh…" I sang whispering ever so silently

I thought I was the only one who knew this song. But when I started to hear the person behind me start to hum it along with my taps, I was obviously struck with surprise when I heard her. As I listened, my mind began to wander, and I looked back up at the board ahead of me. Now, the boy drawing was jumping at the girl drawing and making out with her on the floor. I was surprised by this because usually the girl drawing would basically dominate the boy drawing. I had nothing against the girl asserting herself in my romantic thoughts, it was just weird to see the boy dominate because that is a little out of character for the boy drawing, as well as the girl drawing. But it wasn't long before my boy dominating thought corrected itself, the girl rolled over and was now the "male" of the relationship.

"That's better…" I whispered through my smile hoping no one would hear.

I didn't even notice that the girl behind me was still humming my song. Her head was lying on the desk and she was fast asleep, her right arm hanging over the front and her left over the side. I smirked at the little blond girl that just lay there drooling on the desk. Her hair was crazy and wavy with little brunette streaks all over. She was wearing a black and goldish striped long sleeve shirt with white Capri pants. She looked really cute in it, but I'd _never_ let her know that, because she would severely beat two shades of shit out of me if she did. The girl that sat next to her was a straight haired brunette that sat attentively in class. She wore a white long sleeve shirt, with a v-neck black vest that v'd under her B chest. She was wearing jeans that sparkled because she dropped a tube of sparkles on her pants, and it never really could come out. She washed them for hours just trying to get them out. Then after five hours of intense scrubbing and washing and drying, she gave up which she hated to do and just accepted it, I digress. It was pretty normal for her to sit straight in this class, she always seemed to get good grades while the girl behind me always and **I mean always** got F's. How she managed to get to the grade we were in now was beyond me. As soon as class was over, it was the end of school and all three of us headed to our lockers. As soon as the blonde got in her locker, she grabbed the fat cake and munched hurriedly.

'That girl could always eat something.' The thought made laugh.

"Tonight, we have to upload a video for our viewers." She said barely able to talk with that fat cake stuffed in her mouth. I couldn't help but smile as she tried to talk with her mouth stuffed looking like a blowfish.

Everything about this girl made me go crazy, in both ways. Yes, this girl that ate like a garbage disposal and sleeps in class was the girl that would make fun of me if I told her anything. She would fight me non-stop about me being a dork or just random things that were completely pointless. But even though she makes me go crazy enough that I have a desire to kill her (**A/N- attempt at a joke**),

I'm desperately in love with her, though I'll never admit it to anyone.

I'd like to keep my face the way it is, if you don't mind. So I'll go on acting like I have for the past few years… faking an obsession for our little brunette friend, but that obsession is truly for my blond dominator.

"So when are you gunna be over, tech weirdo?" the blond crudely asked me.

We were walking to our apartment building when she asked; we were barely a block or two from the building. I kept my hands in my pockets and stared at the floor, still the thought of the boy being attacked by the girl that leads to a long and intimate make out session controlled my mind. I started to see little figures run around my legs, a girl was running after a boy and they were encircling my legs in a figure eight. She asked again, this time I broke the figure eight by straightening my stance causing the figure eight to turn into a circle. The boy was trapped by my closing legs and the girl pounced on him. The boy fought for dominance, but he kind of gave up when she kissed him.

She asked again, backslapping my head. "Hello! Dorkazoid! When are you gonna come over for the web cast?"

"Oh what, I'm sorry I was just thinking… I'll be over about half an hour after I get home; I have to fix the TV to spin out faster then I have to…" My voice began to trail off as I could see she had no interest in my words past the amount of time I gave her.

She started to fake snore to show her disinterest. I stopped talking after a few seconds and stayed silent the rest of the way home. I turned around and began to walk backwards as I stared at the two figures I dreamt up going at it on the walkway. Suddenly, I felt as if I was falling.

The blond had apparently taken the chance that I wasn't looking and tripped me. The brunette yelled at the blond for doing that, but I pretty much had no care that she did so. In fact, the fact that she was mean to me was actually a turn on for me. As the blond got the third degree from her best friend, I told the brunette that it was fine and I wasn't hurt. I tried to play it off as my fault for not looking where I was going, but the blond would have none of me sticking up for her.

"Look, I don't need any help, especially from a dork like you." She yelled at me with her finger in my face.

I backed away a bit. She stormed off ahead of me cursing. The brunette that we walked with ran after her, after she had learned that I was completely fine. As I watched her run ahead, I stood staring at her girly run. I looked to my right and found a small little park. I found a bench and sat, staring ahead of me. It had, by far, the best view of the clouds and sunset I had ever seen. I dropped my backpack next to my leg, and rummaged through it to find my notepad. I looked in the back at the cardboard that was attached to the booklet. I stared at the name I etched into it.

If you wanted to know why on the cardboard, it's because it couldn't be thrown away easily. It would be a permanent reminder of my love, for all. If someone ever saw this, they'd know who I have loved for these past few years. If they found it, I think I would have no choice but to tell them the truth, for they would have deserved to know…

That I, _Fredward T Benson_, was in love with the one and only,

_**Samantha M Puckett**_.

No matter how I faked my obsession for Carly, the truth was I was desperately in love with Sam. She tested me everyday to the craziest extent, and each day I would grow more in love with her. It is the fact that she bullied **me** in particular that got me the most. And remembering our kiss on the fire escape was just a little icing on the cake. That kiss was wet, and pretty embarrassing. Nothing about it was romantic, well except the lead up to it. It was out of character for her to even be nice to me after she publicly humiliated me in front of a million viewers. But I can remember her just sitting on that window sill staring at the night stars. It was in _that_ perfect silent moment, that she got it in her head that she and I should kiss. I thought it would be just a joke like always, so I prepared myself for a beating that never came. As she asserted her dominance for me to begin, I fought the urge to hold her head in that kiss. Our tongues didn't fight for control, the heat from her breath didn't hit me like a ton of bricks, and the relationship we had never changed.

The kiss was nothing more than a long peck on the lips, but I did want more,

**so** much _more. _

I wanted her mouth to invite me in, her tongue to show me why she fought me for all these years, and her hands to show me what her body could not. But it never happened and

I do not think it ever will…

**_SPOV_**

A dream is supposed to mean nothing right? It's supposed to leave you after a couple minutes, right? Why was this one sticking with me, then? I couldn't escape it. It angered me that I even dreamt it in the first place. But for some reason I was not as angry as I thought I should. I think I'm sort of forcing myself to be angry. I was dreaming in class, it started out normal, and then it got weird.

It was me, Carly, and Fredly just doing ICarly. Then about halfway through Freddie made a joke about me. So being angry I picked up the fire extinguisher on the wall and sprayed him with it. Then he fell back and his camera flew through the air. Carly ran over to him, but he didn't want to talk to her. Carly told me, he asked to talk to me. I walked over nonchalantly and bent to my knees. Then Freddie was gone. In fact, the entire studio was gone and I was just sitting in a black room, alone. That was until the black room changed into a very organized bed room. I got up after sitting in the black room holding my legs to my chest, and walked toward the desk which was filled with papers. I looked around and found a picture frame. I picked it up for a moment and after my eyes adjusted to it, I dropped it. It was a picture of me, and only me, with a heart in the bottom left corner. I looked around till' I found the door. I was about to open it, when the person on the other side opened it first. It opened to reveal Freddie; he walked in as I backed away. He quickly closed the door as I fell on his bed. In mere seconds, Freddie jumped on top of me holding my wrists on the sides of my head. He immediately, and without wait, kissed me; his tongue dancing in my mouth. I was about to feel violated, when something in me told me that I was enjoying myself. I didn't notice that his hands had let go of my wrists, and that my arms were around his neck. I was holding him close to me. After a couple of seconds, a song came from nowhere, a song I had listened to so much that I knew the words. When out of nowhere, Freddie broke our kiss, and he got up and left the room. I yelled for him to come back, stretching my hand toward the door, but he was gone, so was the room.

I popped up off the desk I was laying on and both my arms were still asleep. As I looked ahead of myself, I saw Freddie's spiky hair and light blue shirt looking ahead of me. I looked at Carly, who was sitting next to me, and thought that she looked like she was such a smart girl.

A hint of pina colada was wafting through the air. I examined with my nose and had learned that it was in fact coming from Fredork.

'Carly, must have smeared her lip balm on him again. I have to remember to make fun of him for that later.' I thought to myself with a little smirk covering my lips. After a few seconds, the thought of him kissing me came back to my mind again. I put my head in my hands trying to make sense of the stupid dream I had. It was angering me to no end that in my dream, I was enjoying being overpowered by the nub that sat in front of me.

My stomach yelled for food, but I didn't have anything to give it. I looked ahead of me and using my stealthy skills of opening backpacks, I opened Freddie's backpack looking for food. After finding nothing at all, I decided why not find something to lure over him later. As I reached in his bag, I grabbed the only thing that he had, a little notebook. I pulled it out and looked through the pages. Not a single chicken scratch was written on any page. I thought to myself, 'Why would he have an empty damn notebook…?' I was just about to put it back when something caught my eye. It was something etched into the cardboard. It was a little obsessive because he outlined and starred it. He etched into his only notebook on the cardboard, '_I love SP._' I looked at it for just a few seconds, then closed it and put it back into his backpack. I zippered it back up and sat back.

…...

…...

…...

…...

…..

….

'Who's _SP_?' I thought. (**A/N- yes, her deduction skills SUCK**)

I put my thinking face on and looked around the room. 'Who is _SP_?'

When the bell rang I was still curious who in the hell SP was. I knew I didn't want to ask Fred-obsessed about it, like he'd ever tell… Even with my "questionable" motives of getting him to answer. As my stomach yelled louder than before, I ran to my locker. I tried to open it, but the combo wouldn't work. I got out my trusty car door opener and decided to use it to open my locker. When I got it open, I threw all the books to the floor and tried to find momma's fat cake. When I couldn't find it, I stepped back. Gibby came over and asked angrily,

"What are you doing to my locker?" I looked at it and saw a picture of Gibby and his sexy girlfriend, Tasha. I looked back at him and laughed a bit.

"This is the second time you've done this, Jesus Christ…!" Gibby angrily spoke.

"Calm down Gibby, at least I didn't break the door off like last time."

As he angrily walked away, I moved one locker to the left and put in my locker combo. Momma's fat cake was sitting on its pedestal for my enjoyment. As I opened the package, I stuffed both into my mouth. 'MMMMMM, Momma loves her fat cakes…' I thought as my eyes closed savoring the flavors.

When Carly and Fredward came over, I quickly told Carly with my face still stuffed, "Tonight, we have to upload a video for our viewers."

Carly nodded as if to say, 'of course,' while Freddie was trying to hold back laughter. I was about to beat him with my handy dandy car door opener (**A/N- yes, a blues clues reference**), when the dream of kissing him came back to my mind. I nearly fell onto my locker when it came to mind. As I gulped down the fat cake, I began to think about the dream, forcing my anger to come out from my gritted teeth.

As we left the school and started walking to Carly and Fredork's apartment, I was just replaying that damnded dream over and over. It got me so angry. I hid it way too well for Carly not to ask about it. As I talked with Carly about tonight's ICarly webisode, we were wondering when we should start. I asked Freddie, myself.

"So when are you gunna be over, tech weirdo?" I asked still trying to hide my anger.

He still looked at the ground, staring off into space. I asked again, getting angrier. He stopped in his tracks. I back slapped him across the head and yelled, nearly unable to control my anger.

"Hello! Dorkazoid! When are you gonna come over for the web cast?" This time he heard me.

"Oh what, I'm sorry I was just thinking… I'll be over about half an hour after I get home…"

After I got my answer, I began to fake-snore at anything else he said. We started walking again, after a few seconds I learned that he was looking at something behind us, but not a thing was there. I smiled evilly. I tiptoed over to him and stuck my foot out ahead of him. As he fell, I couldn't help but laugh. But something in the back f my head said that I shouldn't have done that. The flash of the kiss again hit my mind like 8 tons of pure intimacy.

'I hate intimacy.'

As Carly yelled at me for tripping him, Freddie got up and told her that it wasn't my fault and he shoulda looked where he was going. I had it, I was already angry that I was thinking of him dominating me, and now he was protecting me from the wrath of Carly, oooohh HELL NO!...

"Look, I don't need any help, especially from a dork like you." I pointed a finger in his face, I just needed an outlet for my frustrations, and since he was the one who was closest to me I thought it might as well be him. I think my sentence was more to try and get myself to believe he was nothing more than a dork, a tech weirdo, a nub, a sweet guy, a sexy guy… The words of feeling for this guy hit my head. I couldn't handle it and I stormed off without looking back. 'Get outta my damn head Freddie; you're not supposed to be in there.'

Carly ran up to me and began to yell at me. "What was that all about? That was pretty mean Sam, even for you. Saying that to Freddie! What's your deal lately, you've been mean to him a little more than usual. You're acting a little strange." I looked at her for a few seconds.

"I need to tell you something Carls…"

"Sure anything…" she said a little chipperly.

"But not now; later..." I said whispering. Carly always knew how to comfort me; how to keep me straight, even if the line did askew every once in awhile.

As we entered the apartment building, Lewbert yelled at us, "Why are there people in my lobby? AAAHHHHH!" He seemed to do this every time a person came into the building, whether they lived here or not. I didn't much care; he was pretty much the butt of one our ICarly jokes, 'Messin with Lewbert.' As we reached the top of the stairs and walked down the hallway to Carly's door I opened it first. Spencer was in the middle of one of his questionable "projects."

"So whatcha makin, Spence?" I asked without care of his answer.

"A spoof of Auguste Rodin's masterpiece, THE KISS! But instead of the guy holding the girl, it's the girl holding the guy… It will be FANTASTIC!" He laughed maniacally when his explanation was over.

Carly looked at it and said, "Isn't that against the law?"

"No and I should know. I went to Law school." Spencer said, a little too proud of himself.

"You went for three days." Carly said as she threw him from his high pedestal.

"Three days longer than you." Spencer said as he stuck his tongue at Carly.

"Sam, we got to check, what skits we're gonna do for ICarly. Come on!" Carly demanded

"Yeah! One sec, I need to get something to eat." I lied.

As Carly nodded and ran upstairs, I walked over to Spencer's statue. I was disgusted and nearly mortified, but for some reason I didn't see a faceless statue. What I saw was me and Freddie. "GOD! Damn…" I tried to keep my emotions secret, but when I saw me and Fredwierd in that statue, I just could not handle it anymore.

"See something, Sam? Something, that reminds you of something else? I made this, especially because of your personality." Spencer said, as he shaped the clay figures.

"I don't see anything, and I don't want to see anything." I tried to get off the subject. But, Spencer was like Carly. He was like family. Carly was a sis and Spencer was an older brother. Spencer always knew when something bothered me and I could tell him the secrets I knew Carly would just never understand or have biased to.

"Come on, kiddo! I know that you know that I know when something's up, you know?" He stopped and stared at the ceiling for a couple a seconds, probably thinking if what he said was even understandable. He stopped staring then nodded as if to answer a question in his head.

When I sat down on the couch, I told him that I didn't want to talk about it. He jumped over the couch and stood sat on one of the cushions. He then proceeded to poke me in the arm until I told him. Seeing how this was his most annoying tactic, I decided why not.

I told him EVERYTHING. From the dominating kiss dream, to finding the book in Freddie's bag. As I told him this, I made sure that the front door was locked and Carly was out of earshot.

When I finished, I looked into his far off eyes as he stared at the ceiling again.

Just then, he opened his mouth. "So did you figure out who _SP_ was?" (**A/N- yes he is also just as clueless**)

I shook my head as he looked at the floor.

"Well from what you're telling me, it seems that there is one thing you just don't want to admit to yourself?" Spencer said smiling.

"What's that?" I eagerly moved closer to hear.

"You have feelings for Freddie. That's why you dreamt of him kissing you. That's why you looked into his book bag for things to hold over him. That's why you yelled at him for being nice to you. And that's why you are so hung up on this _SP_ person."

PSSH! "No. No way. Then why was I being dominated." I asked curious about the dream I had.

"Well that's easy. You dominate others, so it's understandable that your deepest desire is to be dominated by the one person you dominate most. It's like you wanting them to get back at you for the bad stuff you did. The punishment being, passion." Spencer said, acting like a shrink. If he had a mirchon pipe, he'd probably be smoking it, just so he can be like Sigmund Fuckin Freud.

I tried to argue, I tried to deny. But no matter what I said, I couldn't help but believe he was right.

I may make fun of him every second I get, but the truth of the matter is…

I, _Samantha M Puckett_,

am in love with

_Freddie T Benson_.

**A/N- Sorry for all the little author's notes in the middle of the story… but I think I put those there to emphasize comedy or to show that it is a joke… I may not have an outline for the story, but I do have goals for it… so even though there is not an outline, I know where I'm gunna take this…**

**If you like the story, Reviews will work…**

**Even if you hate the story, still review…**

**I need some criticism… I'm kinda lonely without it…**

**Don't leave me without a review…**

**I'm a better lemon writer than a normal story writer mostly because I've had a little more practice lately with lemons than normal stories (I'm not a pervert)…**

**If my jokes suck… it's understandable, I've got a dry sense of humor according to my last teacher…**

**I'll be posting a chapter a week…**

**Until the chorus of the song is done…**

**But I need those reviews, its pointless without them…**


	2. And keep your feet on the ground

_**The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows…**_

**A/N- This chapter is based on the phrase "with your head in the clouds, you are supposed to keep your feet on the ground…" The story itself mimics Brand New- The Quiet Things that No One Ever Knows (as said in the previous chapter)… If you want to know the story, listen to the chorus and you'll pretty much know where I'll go and how this story will end…**

**Like all others before me… I'll explain to you that I do not own ICarly nor do I own the song that the story is based off of… Nor do I own any thing that you will recognize in the story… But here's a good question, what would the author do if they did own the show they are fanfic-ing… most likely the show wouldn't be able to air anymore because it would turn into an entirely different show(on an entirely different channel)…**

**Whatever happens to make you think OOC for someone… I'm sorry but I just couldn't think of any other characters for him to do what he does… As well as Sam being OOC but that's my thoughts of Sam, you don't **_**have**_** to agree…**

**(A/N- keep an eye out for the word **_**perfect **_**in italics… it's supposed to signify a Seddie coming together)**

Chapter Two- "_And keep your feet on the ground…"_

**FPOV**

Lying in the grass isn't as much fun as I thought it would be; it's kind of boring. Clouds pass by slowly and your eyes are closed practically 90% of the time because the sun is in your eyes. You want to tell whoever you are with that this is boring but you don't know how they would take it if you told them. So you lay there with your girl in your arms staring at the back of your eyelids because the clouds that blocked the sun moved out of the way which in turn caused you to have to close your eyes. Even though every second of this moment or event is pure torture, you push through for the one you love.

I wish that you could just close your eyes and the pain would be gone, but sadly some pains you just can't block out. Some pains stay with you even in your dreams. Some pains make it so hard for you to even get any sleep. But not this pain, this pain **causes** you **to** sleep. To sleep of more pain. To sleep and see a pain that hurts the emotions, instead of the body. I dreamt a very _un_sweet dream. A dream that would be considered a nightmare if it went any further.

My dream consisted of Sam, yes Sam. She wasn't particularly happy with me. She yelled at me so loud, I can hear it echoing through my head. It was so loud that my ears felt like they were bleeding. Think of it as being at a screamo concert for weeks on end with no earplugs or any thing to stop the noise going into your head. Think of it playing nonstop. That was how loud she yelled. But she didn't say coherent words, just a loud beeping sound. It got annoying after a few hours. When she finished her rant of beeps, she came up to me and slapped me across the face, smiling. She kept slapping me, smiling and laughing at every hit. She got up and walked away, but before she got too far she came back and kicked me swiftly in the gut like a soccer player kicks a ball to go into the net. I didn't move, I don't even think I could. Tears came from my eyes, as I was paralyzed. As she finished her abuse, she looked me straight in the eye and said something. All that came out was a loud beeping sound like before. But as the beep went off, I knew what she had said. I knew because I get it every time from her friend Carly. As if I would care the meaning behind it from Carly, but from Sam… it was heart breaking. I awoke.

I can remember her mouthing those words. Those few words that are like 100's of pins thrust into your back at the very same moment. I lay on my side thinking of those words as I curled up in the fetal position holding my pillow. I cried into it. I cried and cried until I passed out, until I had the dream again. The same one, over and over, again and again.

The words, "I will never love you…" They can hurt like millions of bottles thrown at you, and they can hurt like a car creaming you as you cross the street. I have felt pain, and the pain of her words trumps any other.

As I was deep in my thoughts, an intense beeping sound broke me of that. It stopped but only for a few seconds and then would pick up again. It was maddening. I stared at the green numbers on the machine that made this maddening beeping sound, 127/79.

*BEEP*BEEP*….*BEEP*BEEP*

The sound angered me to no end. It annoyed me profusely. The same noise over and over and over and over again.

I looked past the machine towards the window and looked at the purples and oranges of the evening sun. I tried to see the beauty of it, but all I could see was Sam's lips repeating the same phrase, "I will never love you…"

I turned onto my back and stared at the ceiling, "I will never love you…" It got me so depressed that I began whispering it, tears streaming down my face towards my ears. As I wiped away the tears at every second, I winced at the pain coming from my arms. I picked up my arms and looked at them, and I began to remember what had happened to me and why I was in this room. Why I kept hearing the same annoying beep.

This depressingly white room that smelled of sanitary spray with a green curtain. A depressingly white room with a depressingly old television that sat on a depressingly old mechanical stand on the wall that sat far above someone of normal human height. The only thing that was not depressing was the window, but what stopped you from seeing the beauty beyond that window were two depressingly, and most probably uncomfortable, chairs.

I knew where I was, for it was not very difficult for anyone to know where this place was. With so many depressing things in one room, it was obvious.

I…

was in the hospital.

It didn't surprise me. What happened earlier pretty much gave me the probability that I'd wind up in the hospital.

(_**Earlier that day**_)

(**A/N- the tenses will be messed up a bit because this is not him remembering**)

As I put away my notebook, I quickly looked at my watch. I had less than a quarter of an hour before I would have to do ICarly rehearsals with Carly and Sam. I stared at a cloud shaped like the ham in How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the ham bone thing(**A/N- sorry I don't know what its called**), and immediately thought of Sam. I laughed to myself. I picked up my book bag, threw it over my shoulder and headed to the apartment. As I was walking home, Sam's ex, Shane stopped me and said he wanted to talk with me.

"Sure thing…" I said innocently. {"I shouldn't have said yes…"}

He wrapped his arm around me and proceeded to walk me down an alleyway next to the apartment building.

"You know Freddie," he said the scent of beer oozing off his breath; "We've known each other for quite awhile, right?"

"I guess so…" I whispered as I scratched the back of my head.

"We're friends right… I mean we can tell each other secrets right?" he said leaning against the wall.

"I guess…" I said as innocently as I could.

"I've got a secret that I bet you would be dying to hear…" he slurred as he leaned forward off the wall.

"What type of secret…?" I asked curiously.

"It's a secret about Sam… A very _special_ secret…" He said smirking.

"Why should I care…?" I lied, I did care. If it was about Sam, I would have wanted to know everything.

"Well this particular secret involves you… I'm sure you want to know… I'm almost _positive_…" He hissed and smirked wider.

"Are you going to say it… because I got some stuff to do at the studio…" I acted annoyed.

"She told me she likes _you_ Freddie…" he pushed himself off the wall and began walking towards me.

"She did…" I tried to act like I didn't care but I don't think my face went along with me.

"Yeah…she did…" He pushed his chin up as he said the words, "Right before she left me!" He walked forward more, a bit of anger in his eyes.

"Well thanks for telling me that… I-I got to go…" I knew what he was going to do…I could see it… Feel it in his eyes. He was jealous that I had stolen Sam from him. He wanted me to suffer for just being near her.

"Oh no no no… I don't think you'll be going anywhere... Not for a very, _very_ long time. This, I promise." He grinned maniacally.

As he finished his small phrase he kneed me in the stomach. I held the spot as I coughed, huffing for air. He elbowed my back. As I fell I closed my eyes trying to block it out, trying to get rid of the pain. He picked me up from my backpack and as I stood up still holding my stomach, he threw me against the wall. As I leaned against the wall in the fetal position, he lifted his foot high and stomped on the side of my stomach. He then, without fail, started kicking my legs. After his barrage of kicks leaving my legs very bruised, he got to his knees and began to punch me in my torso. First, my left chest near my arm, then my left stomach, then where I was holding my hands. Once he finished punching my torso, he used every ounce of strength he had to punch me in the head. By the time he was done, my eyes were bleeding, my torso was severely damaged and my legs were crippled. As he got up, he knew his job wasn't finished, he knew that he had to add something. He pulled his leg far back and plunged it deep into my stomach.

The pain could not be described. It was like… I can't even describe it in a metaphor. The blood that was oozing from my eyes was enough to fill a bar's beer jug, and then some. At a point, I could taste it. It was mixed with my sweat as it dripped down my face. The taste was salty, and bitter. The taste alone made my stomach churn and my throat seize like it would if I were to vomit. As I lie on my side, I stared straight ahead at the wheels of a dumpster not very far away. I stared down the alleyway towards the street. I watched as people carrying purses and briefcases passed by, never turning to look down the alley. If I were to die here, I don't think anyone would miss me. Life would go on, because right now my life doesn't mean that much to anyone. Yeah, I might be the tech producer behind ICarly, but Carly and Sam could easily have found someone else. Probably find some cute guy that both would fawn and fight over. It would probably be better that way. I kind of started to accept the pain, like I do when Sam beats me up. I probably would go to a better place anyway; I haven't done anything bad to anyone. I lived a potentially full life, but I do wish I could have told Sam my feelings. Told her I loved everything about her. Her beatings, her blond hair, the fact that she sleeps in class, that she has a truly beautiful body, her sense of humor, the way she can eat the most fattening thing in the world and never gain a single pound. The way she dominates, the way she has never changed since the day I met her. I wish I could kiss those brooding lips of hers. I laughed to myself at my final moments that I was thinking of a girl that beat me up on a daily basis. Yet for some reason, I don't care that she beats me up, I was still madly in love with her. In my final moments I began to remember our kiss and how it should have gone.

_I watched as she sat on the windowsill, staring at the night sky._

"_You know what we should do..." She said as she still stared at the stars. "We should kiss." I look at her with wide eyes. She does not glance down. Seeing that I had no answer I look at the stars as well._

"_Yea—" before I could say one word her lips had attached themselves to me. Slow to react, I held out my hand before wrapping it around her. I pulled her by the waist closer to me. Before I knew it, he mouth had opened and her tongue had pried mine open as well. And in just a few seconds, our tongues battled like our friendship had done. Her tongue would always dominate mine and soon she broke the kiss. She took a deep breath and looked me straight in the eyes. I knew she wanted more, her eyes practically begging me to kiss her again. Before I could go further_, the thought was wiped away.

And I realized I was still lying on the ground looking at Shane.

He bent down and said, "Sam is my girl… so hands off…" and he punched once more and I was lights out.

(**Present**)

When I awoke from my deep slumber, I had no visitor's sitting in that uncomfortable chair. I don't even think anyone came to see me since I've been in this hospital. The thought had not even occurred to me but… how did I get here in the first place? I wondered. I wasn't left long to my thoughts when I heard someone talking from the hall.

"He has a bad concussion, a few broken ribs and a broken leg. The leg will heal in a couple of weeks. We will have to keep him here for a couple of days, if he wakes up by tomorrow he will be able to leave here on Friday." Some male doctor said. By the sound of his voice, it seemed he was rather cheery. "So what connection did you say you are to the boy?"

Silence gripped me as I wondered who was outside the door talking to the doctor.

"I'm his girlfriend…" a female voice said.

I couldn't hear her voice quite well since the machine beeped at the worst possible time.

"Well, I'm sure he was very lucky that you came looking for him. A few more hours and he would have lost too much blood for us to fix any damage done to him. By the time he was in our custody, I didn't even think we could do much. All we can do now is wait." The doctor was not a very optimistic person, obviously.

"Thanks for the words of encouragement." The girl said in a very sarcastic tone of voice.

I listened as the doctor walked off and the girl huffed outside the door.

Before she walked in, I quickly leaned back and acted like I was asleep. For some reason I didn't want this girl to know I was awake. It's like what a kid does when his parent walks in the room. You don't know why you just lay there acting asleep, you just do it.

She walked in very slowly. It was like she was taking baby steps. Before she came into my field of vision I noticed her right arm was on the wall as she walked in. By the time she saw me, she took a deep breath. I opened my eyes just a bit and noticed her back was towards me. I knew who this person was.

This girl that told the doctor that she was my girlfriend…

This girl…

was Sam…

She couldn't even look at me without tearing up. This was out of character for her. I don't even understand why she was here in the first place. Don't get me wrong, I was more than happy she was here. But, why would Sam say what she said outside. She had told the doctor that she was my girlfriend, why? Was what Shane said true…? Did she really like me…?

As she turned around I quickly closed my eyes. And went back to pretending I was asleep. As I heard her footsteps on the marble floor, I could almost feel her arm drag itself across my bed. I heard her stop, and then turn and sit on the chair, the sound of plastic being pulled. I heard her sniffling as she watched me breathe.

"I know Shane did this to you… He had been telling me for weeks that he would if I didn't go back out with him… I didn't think he would _really_ do it…"She scoffed. "I should have been there to protect you… to beat him up… but I was too late… guess I'm always like that… I'm always late to the party, late to the show…" she half-heartedly laughed. "But here's something you should know… I beat the living crap out of him after I found you… he tried to ask me out again but… well he's somewhere in this hospital…" I could tell she was smiling at this comment, I think I smiled as well. "I don't know if you can even hear me in your dreamlike state." She laughs again. "Yes I know big words as well…" I heard the plastic of the seat stretch as she leaned forward. "There's something I've always wanted to tell you Freddie… I'm not someone who can get their emotions out right… Because of this, my body gives you pain instead of love…" I listen intently as she utters the word love. "Freddie…" she lays her hand upon my arm. "Freddie I have loved you for… for years… every night I have dreamt about kissing you… I know you feel the same way… though you would probably never admit it… But I have proof that you do…" I gulp. "It's in your notebook, on the cardboard." My world goes black, she has figured out my secret. But why do I not care, why do I not care that she figured it out? "The words '_I love SP_'… Who were you fooling… you've been lying for years haven't you… Saying you loved Carly when you really didn't…" She stood up. "You've loved me… and I have loved you… but it's because of my love for you that you're here… in this hospital." She began to cry again. "Please wake up Freddie… I need you with me…" She kisses me. The kiss was salty with tears.

I have lied for far too long. I loved Sam, and if I were to get beat up because of it, so be it. I grabbed her head. My lie was over… No more lying… I pushed my tongue past her lips and into her longing mouth. Yes, she was surprised that I was awake for it all, but I don't think she really cared, for she was being kissed by the one she loves. She had been waiting for this kiss ever since their last. She returned my kiss with an even passionate one. Our tongues collided like two cars in a demolition derby. Our breaths intermingled in our mouths, breathing each others breath like it was our own. It was a _perfect_ moment. Our bodies were in unison, as I breathed out, she breathed in and so on and so forth. When we stopped, it was like we had kissed for hours; our tongues as well as our lips were numb. I knew she did not want to stop; she wanted it to last forever because our first kiss didn't. But realistically it would be impossible for us to kiss forever. The room went silent… except for the beeping that became ever so annoying. I don't know why, but we didn't say anything, we just exchanged intimate glances at each other. I looked into those deep blue eyes and saw every passionate dream she has ever had. I saw a love I can't even describe in those blue eyes. I fell into those eyes. I fell far, _far_ down. If I wasn't sure she loved me before, looking into those blue eyes told me that she truly did. All I could do… all I could muster as I stared into those addicting eyes was smile. I couldn't speak for my mind was overtaken by her eyes. She hit me in the arm. I grabbed my arm wondering why she did that.

"Why'd you do that…?" I asked painfully.

"BECAUSE you didn't say it back." She said angrily.

"What'd you say?" I shouldn't have asked, I think it should have been obvious.

I stared at the anger in her eyes… those addicting blue eyes.

"You know what, I'm going to hurt you… very very-" I cut her off with a kiss. I knew she was pissed, and usually a passionate kiss is the perfect way to make someone forget about something. Though it didn't work, so I tried to remember what she had said to me. As it slowly came back to me, she punched me in the arm hard. "Fine! I love you too…"

She smiled. "Thank you." She jumped off the bed and sat back down on her chair.

I wanted to ask her if she meant what she said in the hall, if she really wanted to be my girlfriend. But looking at the obviousness of the answer, I kind of had a feeling she would punch me again. I leaned back on my bed and slowly but surely fell to sleep. The machine still beeped while Sam sat in her chair, still staring at me. I wonder how she found me in the first place. And soon, I'm off to dreamland where I don't see a yelling Sam anymore,

I see a more passionate Sam,

A sweating Sam…

A _naked_…

Sam…

(**A/N- wanted to end that part of the chapter with a very **_**HAPPY**_** thought… But remember… the chapter is not over-vv *devilish smile*… there are always TWO sides to EVERY story…**)

-Break-Break-

_**SPOV**_- _**Where We Left Sam Off in the Previous Chapter**_

I did not want to accept it, but it made perfect sense. I was desperately in love with Freddie. It's why I wanted to kiss him on the balcony and why I had a dream of kissing him inside his room. I don't know why in his room, probably because I'm pretty much the only girl that has ever been _in_ his room. It was like my own private secret, one I kept close to my heart. I had used his room as a backdrop for a lot of my dreams. Freddie may not have been there, but his room sure was. But for some reason, my dream would always wake me up before my kiss with the guy ended. I guess my mind told me I wasn't ready to see what would happen. I guess I still am just an innocent little girl. Yeah right, I snickered.

"Sorry Spence, got to go talk to Carl's about ICarly rehearsals… Tell me when Freddie gets here… But DO NOT tell him or Carl's about what me and you just talked about… I'm not ready for anyone to know yet…" I said as I waved my finger in front of his face.

Fear in his eyes, "Like I'd tell those two…" He hesitantly laughed with a fearful glare. "Go, go… I'll tell you…" He waved me off as he got off the couch and went back to working on his mock sculpture.

As I ran up the stairs, I looked at my watch. Freddie had about 15 more minutes before rehearsals began. I stopped outside the ICarly studio door and saw that Carly was checking the ICarly video comments on Fredly's tech cart. I felt a little peeved that she was touching Freddie's tech cart but soon pushed that thought away as I entered the room.

"Hey Carl's, whatcha doin on Freddork's computer?" I asked as if I didn't already know she was checking the ICarly commentaries.

"Checking out the ICarly website…" she said a little too vaguely.

"Any Comments? Concerns? People I should beat up?" I said laughing.

"NO Sam… but there is this one comment from Shane to talk to Freddie…" Carly said as she raised an eyebrow.

"What does he want?" I asked a little pissed Shane was still stalking me.

"He says that he wants to talk to Freddie… about you…" She glared up at me.

"I don't know why… I didn't tell Shane anything about anything… But Shane has been begging for me to take him back... Don't know why he would involve Freddie in that…" I said as I grabbed a bottle of water from the hidden fridge inside the prop car's hood that Spencer installed. I love this thing, always gets my water nice and cold. I have to remember to fry up the bacon in there later. I walked back over to Carly.

"Well who cares about Shane… Let's talk about what we'll be doing in ICarly later…" I said trying to forget about Shane. I began to jump back and forth a little too crazily.

"What's up with you today, Sam? You yelled at Freddie and now you keep jumping back and forth randomly." Carly asked with a smile on her face.

"Just jittery, that's all…" I lied to my best friend's face. Lying was too easy for me. I could probably be a great CIA agent one day. Or maybe the president, I mean that guy lies ALL the time. (**A/N- sorry to the patriotic people out there**)

"Okay… but say sorry to him when he gets here." Carly demanded. I agreed that I probably should. I'll admit I scared myself a little.

"So what we doin for ICarly?" I repeated.

"Well, we were going to do the jumping sneaker skit…" Carly began.

"I love that one…" I said as I stared into the sky.

"THEN we were going to do some Random Dancing, go to the Gibby's dictionary." Carly kept going.

"What's Gibby's dictionary?" I asked.

"Oh right, you weren't here that time cuz you stuffed soda down the Mexican Prime Minister's pants and you got arrested." She informed.

"It was chili and he was an ambassador… amdasdoor… hey did you know this word's is so hilarious to say…? Ambadasdor." I began to laugh as I trailed our conversation off it tracks. (**A/N- the word is a joke from Rooster Teeth's RvB**)

"Barring your unforeseen circumstance, we had to do the web show without you… Do you have any idea what it would be like if that happened again?" Carly said a little hurt exuded from her eyes.

"Lose half the audience again?" I said a bit sarcastically.

"If not more…" I laugh as she took my answer literally.

"You never answered my question… what's Gibby's Dictionary?" I said still curious about what happened that day.

"Well… Gibby pronounces a vocabulary word before he brushes his teeth with mustard. He did that for about 5 minutes before we continued the show. Freddie was laughing so much, I thought he was going to lose it and fall to the floor holding his gut." I laugh a bit but don't let it show.

"That must have been torture. Just wish I was the one invoking it." I said a little depressed.

"He actually said that word as well… torture… tor-chur…" Carly said as she smiled.

"By the way, where is Freddie? Shouldn't he have been here by now? It's so unprofessional." Suddenly the thought of the night on the balcony came back. I think it was because I said the same words then as well. I could feel his lips against mine and felt… a pain in my chest. I look at my watch and notice he is just less than 10 minutes late to rehearsals.

"You should go get him if you're so worried…" Carly pursed her lips.

"I'm not worried okay… it's just the web show needs to be up today and we need to be perfect. How are we supposed to be perfect if the tech geek isn't here?" My body began to tingle, my legs began to wobble, and the pain in my chest increased in ferocity. I quickly gripped my chest as the pain got more and more unbearable. "But I will go get him… I'll beat him black and blue before I bring him back here, but I _will_ get him."

Before I left the room, the question I've had in my mind all day gripped me, so I asked Carly. "Who is _SP_, Carly?"

She looked at me as though I were deformed. "That's you… your name _is_ Samantha Puckett, right?" She began to laugh. But for some reason I didn't, I just smiled with my cheeks in a new shade of red. But before Carly could ask why, I bolted down the stairs to Carly's living room where Spencer was still working on his sculpture.

"Spencer? Did Freddie arrive, yet?" I asked in a bit of a hurry.

"No… Why…?" Spencer said as he cleaned the clay off of his hands.

"I need to find him, he's late for rehearsals. Oh and I figured out who _SP_ is…" I said as I was rushing towards the door.

"Who is it?" Spencer asked as I was rushing out the door.

Before I closed the door, I turned around and a smile gripped my face. "It's me, Spence. Freddie is in love with me." I closed the door behind myself and quickly rushed across the hall. I banged on the door once. No answer. I banged on the door again and still… no answer.

Seeing that I was getting absolutely nowhere, I ran down the stairs to the lobby. Before I left the apartment building, I asked Lewbert if he had seen Freddie.

All he could say was, "No, I have not seen that skunkrag child. NOW GET OFF MY FLOORS!"

I rolled my eyes and ran out the building. I ran into someone, someone I knew, Shane.

"Shane, what are you doing here?" I asked curiously.

"Well I wanted to ask you out again." Shane said a little obsessive; I could smell a bit of beer coming from his breath.

"What…? No… Now get out of my way I have to find Freddie…" I hissed as I pushed him out of the way.

"Oh so you can tell him you love him… tell him that he's everything you want…" He said a little snarky.

"You never say a damn word to me. Not about anything. Now you get out of—what's that?" I stared at his red covered hand.

"Oh this…" He picked up his left hand and looked at it. "It's a surprise… a very _special_ surprise for you."

"That's blood… isn't it…?" I said as I still stared at his rose red colored hand.

He smiled. "Ohhhh it's a special kind of blood. It's the blood of the enemy as well as the blood of a lover." He pushed his hand into my face.

It was then… in that moment, that I smelled something, something _perfect_. Only two things are prefect to me. Food… and Freddie. And seeing how there was a bitter smell to this, I knew it was not food. I took my eyes off of his blood covered hand and looked at him straight in the eyes. Anger controlled my every thought and my every movement. My eyes had a burning hatred that was rare. I couldn't think straight. In one second, I was looking for the one I love. In the next, I'm breaking a guys arm, kicking him in the stomach until he cries out to stop. But even then, my body still moves on its own. I'm still kicking the shit out of Shane for what I believe… no, I know what he did. He beat up the only one I've loved and he still had the ball to ask me out. He even knew I loved him. I stop after 3 minutes of nonstop kicking. I pull him up by his collar and ask through gritted teeth. "Where is he, you son of a fucking bitch?" The swears could no longer be held back. I was angry at him. I wanted to kill him; I wanted to beat him within an inch of his life. My breath escaped me as he spoke.

"You're too late… I'm not gonna tell." I punch him once and he's lights out.

I recover myself and I run towards where I saw him last. As I passed a small alleyway, I heard a cough. I looked down it and saw a dark figure lying against the wall. I stepped into the alleyway with one step. I allowed my eyes to adjust to the darkness. I couldn't fully see who it was but they were lying in the fetal position. I knew this person did not belong here. How he lay was evidence enough. I knew that in order to live on the streets, you must find shelter. This person had nothing on him but a red shirt and blue pants. But something was off about him. That wasn't the color of his shirt. His shirt was many colors. Blue _and_ red. I stepped closer. The red was dark, almost old, kind of stained. I stepped closer. The red was not only on his shirt but it was everywhere. It covered his face, his arms, his stomach and blotches on his pants. I knew this was blood. The person that lie against the wall was bleeding like there was no tomorrow. I didn't even have time to gasp. I ran up to him. I knew who this was…

it was the only one I loved, it was…

_Freddie_…

As I pulled him close to me and held him in my arms, I pulled out my PearPhone and quickly called 911… "Hello, I-I need an ambulance at 134 Sycamore Drive, it's a giant apartment building. To the left of it is an-an alleyway. A boy has been terribly wounded… please send help." I quickly ended the call as I held Freddie in my arms. I began to rock back and forth as his blood dripped onto my body. I began to cry. Cry like never before. I cried waterfalls, and as those waterfalls dried, I cried reservoirs. Freddie was dying in my arms and I couldn't do a damn thing to save him. I rocked so much back and forth my mind began to shut down on me as my eyes focused on a fixed point on the wall.

My eyes began to jump all around but my gaze was stuck on one point. My thoughts began to bounce around. Dark shadows began to walk all around me, then vanish in a heartbeat, and then reappear in the blink of an eye. The dumpster that sat across from us down the alleyway began to open and close its lid constantly. My eyes grew wide and narrowed at the exact same time. The walls began to tilt and slide as I stared. My fingers began to tingle while my legs began to shake. Just then I heard something.

"Sam…" *cough* "Sam… is-is that you…?" *cough* blood spewed from his mouth in that cough.

"Yeah… Yeah Freddie, its Sam." I looked down at his mangled and beaten body and could barely say another word.

"How-How did ICarly rehearsals go…?" he said trying to take the sadness from the moment. I wanted to punch him for that but, he was in enough pain.

"Don't be stupid…. We could never do ICarly without you. We need you Freddie…. I need you…" I wanted him to know. I wanted him to say it back, but he couldn't, he had fallen into unconsciousness. _I guess I'll tell him later_.

A few minutes later, an ambulance arrived and took me and him to the hospital. I couldn't allow him to be out of my sight, even if what I saw horrified me. When we got to the hospital he was rushed into ER where they sewed up his eye, his arm, and X-Rayed his legs. I watched every second, hoping that he would come back to me. If he hadn't, I don't think I could've lived on without him. As they finished their job, I went and sat down at the visiting room. I began to think of a million things. A million things that made me think of Freddie. Before I realized it, an hour went by in the blink of a thought. A nurse came up to me and asked who I was waiting on. I told her.

"I'm waiting for Freddie Benson." I said a bit hesitant.

"Oh, your boyfriend, he's up in room 315." She told me sweetly.

"Ma'am he's not my…" I thought about it. Maybe he should be. Yeah… For now… In this hospital… he and I will be boyfriend and girlfriend, to see if I like the ring of it, to see if I can get used to it. "Yeah… he's my boyfriend." I found that saying that made me feel a bit happier. "Thanks a bucket of fried chicken." I raced to the elevator and pushed the number three about twenty times before the doors finally closed. The elevator went so slow, I almost had the thought of climbing through the elevator shaft. When the elevator arrived at the third floor, I squeezed through the slow opening doors and sprinted down the hallway towards room 315. When I got there, a doctor was waiting outside the room putting a pen away.

"So what's the prob, doc?" I said a little too upbeat.

"The 'prob,' little girl, is that he has a bad concussion, a few broken ribs and a broken leg. The leg will heal in a couple of weeks." He stared into the room. "We will have to keep him here for a couple of days, if he wakes up by tomorrow he will be able to leave here on Friday." I almost jumped for joy but I still felt a little depressed.

"So what connection did you say you are to the boy?" The doctor asked.

I'm going to go through with it, for today me and him are a couple. "I'm his girlfriend."

He smiled and said, "Well, I'm sure he was very lucky that you came looking for him. A few more hours and he would have lost too much blood for us to fix any damage done to him. By the time he was in our custody, I didn't even think we could do much. All we can do now… is wait." He was a little too optimistic for my tastes.

"Thanks for the words of encouragement." I told him as I rolled my eyes.

"Oh… yeah, is your name Samantha Puckett?" The doctor asked.

"Yeah, why?" I asked a little curious to why he knew my name.

"Some kid named Shane asked me to find you and tell you to go to 518 when you got here." The doctor said a little uncaring.

"Like I'd do that…" I laughed. He just nodded and ran off to his work.

As I watched him stroll away, I gripped the door handle. What if he's so broken I can't talk to him? 'Well I'll just have to wait now, won't I? I'll wait my entire life for him if it means being with him in the end.' I put on a tough face as I slowly opened the door. The room felt big, but it also felt small. Like the alleyway, I took one step inside. I closed the door behind me and braced my right arm against the wall. With every step, my hand pulled the wall. As I shortly passed the bathroom to my right, I saw him. He was wrapped up in so much gauze, I thought I'd had seen my Cousin Benny after he got slashed up that guy in the bar. Before I could walk any further, I turned around. I took a few deep breaths and turned around again. My steps were slow but firm. As I passed by his bed, I dragged my hand across it as if it were something I needed to get used to. I took a single deep breath before I placed my hand back down to my side. I found refuge in a dark red, plastic chair on the left side of his bed. As I sat down, I could feel something grip me. A fear that he would not wake up and that one day he would not know that I was in desperate love with him. I felt tears come, but I pulled them back before they could.

"I know Shane did this to you… He had been telling me for weeks that he would if I didn't go back out with him… I didn't think he would _really_ do it…"I laughed at my foolishness. "I should have been there to protect you… to beat him up… but I was too late… guess I'm always like that… I'm always late to the party, late to the show…" Tears began to fall as I tried not to stare at his cloth encovered body. "But here's something you should know… I beat the living crap out of him after I found you… he tried to ask me out again but… well he's somewhere in this hospital…" I began to smile as I began to remember his beating. "I don't know if you can even hear me in your dreamlike state." I teary laughed. "Yes I know big words as well…" As I leaned forward, the plastic stretched into an obnoxious sound. "There's something I've always wanted to tell you Freddie… I'm not someone who can get their emotions out right… Because of this, my body gives you pain instead of love…" I move my hands in a repeating circle gesture. "Freddie…" I grab his arm, feeling the warmth exude from his body. "Freddie I have loved you for… for years… every night I have dreamt about kissing you… I know you feel the same way… though you would probably never admit it… But I have proof that you do…" I smile, knowing that this is the ace up my sleeve. "It's in your notebook, on the cardboard." I remember stealing the book from his bag earlier in the day, how sneaky I was. "The words '_I love SP_'… Who were you fooling…?" I lied to him, I didn't know who _SP_ was until Carly told me. "You've been lying for years haven't you… Saying you loved Carly when you really didn't…" I stood up as I knew where I was going to end this one-sided conversation. I knew that after today, nothing was going to be the same. "You've loved me… and I have loved you… but it's because of my love for you that you're here… in this hospital." I cry as I stare at his mangled and bruised and destroyed body before me. "Please wake up Freddie… I need you with me…" I kiss him. I pour every ounce of myself into that kiss. The pain, the anger, the hurt, the love, the good, the bad. Every emotion I have in my body, I forced into my mouth to coincide with his. I was so involved in our intimate kiss, I hadn't even noticed his hand was gripping the back of my head to kiss him even more. It wasn't long before I was so high from our kiss that we exchanged breaths to make the kiss last longer than ever. I couldn't even dream of something like this. My body was aching for more. My mind reeled of what I could steal from him, figuratively. The thoughts consisted of pushing him on to his back and straddle-kiss him, sitting in his lap while we kissed, and other thoughts I don't feel right explaining to you right now because if I talked about them, I'd begin to have the urge to want to do them and then I'd be destroying a _perfect_ moment. As our kiss went on for 10 minutes, our breaths circulated through our bodies. My tongue dashed to be with his. I wanted to become one with him in every way, first it started with our fingers, it escalated to our mouths, then our tongues, and very soon it shall be our bodies that will intertwine and become one. The taste of him filled me to the brim. It was better than ham, meat. It was even better than chili. I couldn't handle myself anymore; I was going to go further. But luckily, Freddie broke our kiss before I lost it. I looked down, afraid to look at him. My breaths were heavy and strenuous. I felt like I had just ran a lap around the entire world. I could barely breathe. I pulled it into myself to look at him. As my eyes met his, I felt lost in his green eyes. I saw the lies he had told to us all. I saw the lie he had told himself to make sure I'd never know. I shook my head as I spoke. "I am so desperately, without a doubt, in love with you Freddie." I watched as his eyes stared into mine. Time passed and he didn't say a word. The silence was depressing me. I punched his arm, unsure what pain it would cause him.

"OWW…Why'd you do that…?" He said as he gripped his arm in pain.

"BECAUSE you didn't say it back." I said as anger pierced through my eyes. I was hurt.

"What'd you say?" He asked stupidly. I took a deep breath because I knew I was angry at him for not listening to me.

"You know what, I'm going to hurt you… very very-" He cut me off with a kiss. Although the kiss worked its magic, I was still pissed. So I punched him in the arm again as I waited for the sentence I have been waiting oh so long for.

"Fine! I love you too…" He said as he half-smiled.

I told him "Thank you." As I jumped off his bed and sat back in the dark red, plastic chair. I stared at him as he leaned back to sleep. After a few minutes, I could see something form. I began to blush as I looked on intently. A tent was beginning to form in his pants. I smiled as I began to think what he was thinking about. Something _occurred_; that I'm sure I will never forget.

Something I'll remember…

For when I'm alone in my bed…

_For later_.

-Break-Break-

-_**END OF CHAPTER TWO**_-

**A/N- okayyyy… WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED? Send your reviews with your thoughts. Keep in mind; he is a teenage boy… Although the hospital thing is a bit cliché… my reviewer asked for a feeling induced event… I hope that you felt something for both Freddie and Sam and HATE Shane for beating him up. I did not intend for the story to go the way it did, but I guess impulses you know…**

**The next chapter was SUPPOSED to be unproductive but after what I believe Sam ****should**** see… I think I'll postpone the "unproductive" chapter for the chapter after next…**

**The story is going so well… I'll grace you with a nice GIFT chapter… it was not in my "planning" stages but seeing how you guys are so nice with reviews, I've decided to give you a preview to the smut that is an M-Rated Seddie…**

**But keep going with the reviews… I'm curious about your thoughts on this chap…**

**(A/N- sorry for the insane I said/she said back and forth's…)**

**Up next- **"_Today's the day it gets tired…_" (airing in one week{maybe})


	3. If Today's the Day it gets Tired

_**The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows…**_

**A/N- I REALLLY don't want to write this chapter… I've been procrastinating not to… mostly because this is a chapter I don't know much about… I don't have much education on the subject because… I'm not awake when it happens and I have no one around to tell me if I did or what happened when the action occurred… so keep this in mind when you read… and keep the fact that the events are unreal and this is a story where things that don't happen, do happen… Because usually, this happens when no one is around to watch…**

**My source of what happens is based off some slang definition website… someone said that an action does occur so that's what I'm going off on…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ICarly blahdy blahdy blah… If I did… I'd sell it back to Dan Shneider… Make at least some money off it… and its better in his hands than in mine…**

**If you like this story, then read my depressing Airplanes story… keep in mind I love writing about Sam because… well too many things to count…**

**{If the actions or thoughts do not completely enthrall you… that would be my fault… I'm not in the mood to write an M-rating chapter… but I have to keep to my schedule…}**

**If it was not M-rated before… it is M-rated now… for Seddie smut… and sexual situations…**

**Okay woman who read this… when I say lace clothing… I mean frilly, black, silky, looks like you have on two, type clothing… It's supposed to be like SEXYYYY ****lingerie****… like stuff you find in a Spencer's to make things in the bed a little more interesting… I'm a guy so I don't know much about it… and I'm sort of young to the party…**

**Be warned this is m-rated… but you won't get much until SPOV… which is like COMPLETELY! FUCKING! MASTURBATION! WORTHY! Sorry… I'm just going crazy writing SPOV that its making me go insane… really… it's like… making me twitch…**

**Everyone else gives you short Seddie smut… mine… is going to be long… and very VERY hard to not masturbate to… even I'm having trouble not to… but if I did… I wouldn't get this done so I have to push through and keep going… I can't even breath that's how much this grips me… ERGH! (No… I am not giving you the sex just yet… you have to earn it in hard work better known as viciously typing reviews until your fingers ache for wetness or your arm aches from the teasing…{masturbation jokes if you didn't get it})**

**Speaking of masturbation… on with the show…**

Chapter Three- "_If Today's the day it gets tired…_"

**FPOV**

I felt like I was drowning in stars. The light emitting from each individual star blinded me but soothed me. Soon my body fell numb and blissful. I felt like I was sitting in a dentist's chair while I waited in the blackness surrounded by stars. It felt like I was in space for a few moments. The gravity held me in the middle of the room. I didn't fight the place where I was… I _accepted_ it… I went _along_ _with_ it. The feeling I had, kept me still and unable to move. Soon enough the gravity withdrew its hold on me and gently lofted my body onto what I guessed to be a floor, because all I saw was just a giant black room scattered with stars as bright as Las Vegas at night. When I felt my feet were firmly on some unknown ground, I took the time to see what I had on me and what I was wearing. I was wearing a brownish gray jacket over a striped blue shirt and had on some casual blue jeans. For some odd reason I had no shoes or socks upon my feet. In my jacket pocket was a lush purple wallet with about fifty dollars in singles and just about two-hundred dollars in fives. The wallet was magic, because how it held so much singles and fives was beyond the capability of a realistic wallet. I stuffed the purple fluffy wallet back into my jacket pocket and began to walk aimlessly. First I went straight… then I soon took a left when I realized straight was getting me nowhere… and finally I went right when I realized left was getting me nowhere.

I soon felt like I had been walking in circles for years. After a couple of aimless hours, I just sat down, with my legs close to my chest. The temperature of the place wasn't cold but it wasn't warm either. It was just… neutral. As I sat in the middle of nowhere and nowhere, I began to look at the stars. I began to think of why I had stars in my head instead of something different. Why not a long hallway? Why not a bunch of mindless and pointless houses? Why stars? I began to remember my psychology class. I realized I was dreaming long before I figured out what I was wearing. If this were to be a dream then… Those stars must be areas of my subconscious. I looked around for a star that stood out among the rest. There was one that was glowing red, probably the most lonely since it was the only star that was as red as a blush on a face. As I stared at it, I lifted up my hand. Finger extended, I touched the ruby red star like it was a shiny red button. When I bended my arm back to my side, the star opened up like a gateway. I got up to my feet, and shook off the nonexistent dust off my pants. Soon a building came into view. It was pretty secluded. Red lights dazzling everywhere. On one of its walls was spray tagged saying 'SAM wuz HERE.' I smiled to myself, Sam invades my mind so well she even left a note saying I was hers. I giggled to myself before I looked at the sign.

"After School Activities" I proclaimed as I saw a picture of a book crossed out in a red circle. "If this is what I think it is… the fun has just begun." I walked up to the bouncer who looked at me for a few seconds, scanning me up and down and then telling me that their was only one person in there. I could only guess at whom that one person was, but I tried to deny myself the thought of her doing such a thing. But then I realized that it was my mind and that maybe she would.

I walked inside and sat at the only seat in the place, a sort of small two-seater in front of a run-way stage. The seat was purple and black with the same type of fluffy fur that was on my wallet. I sat down with both arms on the headrest and my legs crossed knowing exactly what was going to happen. I knew what this place was the second I saw the run-way. I knew the stage, I knew the bouncer, I knew the name of the club, I knew who was the only person here because that was what she did in my mind… when I was alone. I took a deep breath when I looked at the only object on the runway.

A pole.

Or better yet…

A _stripper_ pole…

I closed my eyes regretting what I was about to see but opened them back up when I realized I really wanted to see it. It's why I had this thought tucked away for special keeping. Soon a song came on… the song was not one a girl could dance to but somehow the girl made it work. The song was 'Panic! At the Disco's Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking off her clothes.'

(**A/N- I'm going to do something I want the ****patents**** to… it's a new writing style… {no one steal… **_**unless you tell peoples you got it from me**_**} it's to keep the time frame right…**)

I tried to block my eyes but the thought of the girl doing what she was going to do attracted me… more like seduced me to watch. The song worked it's magic as well making it almost embarrassing to watch this girl do what she was about to do…

Before the song began, _she_ walked out. She was wearing black lace everything. Black lace gown, black and red polka dotted lace bra, frilly black lace underwear, and the thing that topped it off was black lace gloves with black nail polish. My mouth began to drool at the sight of the sexiness of this girl. I don't think I could hide the erection forming under my tight jeans, even if my legs were crossed. I stared at the blonde headed girl taking her position. I wanted to block my eyes from the look she gave but my heart and stomach churned so much that the pain caused my body not to work.

"Boys and girl's let me introduce you to 'Momma Samantha'" said the announcer turning on the song. The second the song came on, a switch gave Sam a spotlight. She stood as proud as she could ever be standing in front of the pole in the sexiest lingerie I could have ever imagined her in. I could barely breathe when she looked at me with here hair in curls and her face covered in make up. My heart began to beat four times faster after a few seconds of stares between me and her. I moaned inaudible as I tried to reposition my erection to feel at least a bit comfortable. I held onto the furry purple couch in a vice grip as I watched her body begin to move along with the song.

(**A/N- To Get The Full Force of The smut you are about to experience… please listen to the song while reading… Panic! At the Disco- Lying is the Most Fun… I'm about to go crazy just thinking of the smut that is going to happen… sorry back to the **_**show**_)

('-' means song, and **timing** is **irrelevant**)

_-Is it still me that makes you sweat?-_

_-Am I who you think about in bed?-_

_-When the lights are dim and your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress-_

_-Then think of what you did-_

_-And how I hope to god he was worth it-_

As she walked around the pole teasingly, she played with it at first. Doing those first jump and spin techniques that didn't really spark much interest. Stretching her leg up as far as it can go.

_-When the lights are dim and your heart is racing as your fingers touch his skin—_

She rubbed against the pole, the pole going between her breasts, causing her breasts to look bigger than usual.

_-I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck—_

She turned around and bent over giving me full view of those lace panties that hugged her ass tightly but sensually. My mind reeled of possibilities. My eyes began to twitch as I tried to straighten my gaze.

_-Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me—_

She slowly made her way back to a standing position.

_-Girl I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of—_

I began to heave breaths, uncrossing my legs to give more room to my erection.

_-Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?-_

_-No, no, no, you know it will always just be me—_

She walked to the side of the pole and glanced at me with her eyes half closed; almost asking me what I wanted her to do. My breath couldn't come out. I held it in, I almost asphyxiated.

_-Let's get these teen hearts beating—_

She got into position, back towards me. I felt a smile upon her face.

_-FASTER, FASTER-_

Sam wrapped her legs around the pole and hung upside down in that sexy little pose and then dropping down in a back flip.

_-So testosterone boys and harlequin girls-_

_-Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?-_

_-So testosterone boys and harlequin girls-_

_-Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?—_

She jumped off the stage and straddled me, going crazy by whipping her hair around in circles. Before I knew it, her lace gown was off. Her gloves along with her bra and panties were still on her body. I knew she could feel my erection poking at her. I said absolutely nothing as she did everything to turn me on to the point where I couldn't hold myself back from touching her.

_-So I guess we're back to us, oh cameraman, swing the focus-_

_-In case I lost my train of thought, where was it that we last left off?—_

She began to touch me all over, sensually touching my neck with her gloved hands and moving around my legs to turn me on even more. I moved my hands up her side, feeling that silky smooth skin of her stomach. She shivered as goose bumps formed all over her body.

_-Let's pick up, pick up—_

In that short instant, she kissed me. Tongue grabbing a taste she wanted to feel in her mouth as she continued.

_-Oh now I do recall, we were just getting to the part-_

_-Where the shock sets in and the stomach acid finds a new way to make you get sick—_

She jumped off and climbed back on stage. Straddling the stage, legs agape, crawling away on her hands.

_-I hope you didn't expect that you'd get all of the attention.—_

She turned her head back towards me giving a half smile and half moan. I don't know but I think she was getting off on me watching… along with her straddling the stage.

_-Now let's not get selfish—_

In seconds, she turned around in the blink of an eye.

_-Did you really think I'd let you kill this chorus?—_

She did the same thing as before but added something; she began to hump the stage with her legs straddled. I almost couldn't hold a moan. But soon the moan subsided in my throat.

_-Let's get these teen hearts beating-_

She jumped up quick…

_-FASTER, FASTER-_

Like I was a bed, she jumped on me. Legs falling to either side of me, straddling _me_, instead of the stage. She smiled. I felt my stomach twist and knot as I knew what was to come.

_-So testosterone boys and harlequin girls-_

_-Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?-_

_-So testosterone boys and harlequin girls-_

_-Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?—_

She gave me little kisses on the cheek, unzipping my jacket in between her kisses. When my jacket was completely open, she wrapped her arms around me. It felt like a hug but the event she was giving made it feel more sexual and lusty than sensual and loving.

_-Dance to this beat-_

_-Dance to this beat-_

_-Dance to this beat—_

She began to grind me harshly. I heard a few moans escape her breath as she used me as leverage to make her grind into me even more. As she grinded against my crotch, I grabbed ahold of her to add even more pressure between us. My left hand was near the top right of her back and my right hand was just above her ass feeling the two love handles just above her sexy lace panties. My breath hitched as I used all my strength to not cum too early. I knew that I would want to wait, for I knew how the entire scene would play out.

_-Let's get these teen hearts beating faster, faster-_

_-Let's get these teen hearts beating faster—_

"Sam..." I whispered almost inaudible. I almost felt it come. She just smiled and jumped up. She began to walk towards the stage. When she got to the stage, she put her gloved hands onto the stage and wagged her nice sexy ass at me. There was nothing I wouldn't give to see this.

_-I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck-_

_-Than any boy you'll ever meet, sweetie you had me-_

_-Girl I was it, look past the sweat, a better love deserving of-_

_-Exchanging body heat in the passenger seat?-_

_-No, no, no, you know it will always just be me—_

I began to sing along with the words as I got up from my seat and I walked towards her slowly. I no longer could take it anymore. I slowly opened the zipper of my pants. But not letting out my manhood from behind my boxers.

_-Let's get these teen hearts beating FASTER, FASTER—_

I grabbed onto her hips, holding them firmly. I felt the lace of her panties with my fingers. Returning my hands to her hips, her right hand met mine, holding my hand where it was, not allowing it to move and to feel someone she knew. It felt to me that she had closed her eyes, focusing all her thoughts on where my hands were and where my body was touching hers.

_-So testosterone boys and harlequin girls-_

_-Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?-_

_-So testosterone boys and harlequin girls-_

_-Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?—_

I bent my knees slightly, to slowly rub against her lace panties. She moaned lightly before I let the tent in my underwear catch in between her legs. My erection forced its way upwards, touching the thing the lace panties were there to protect. I felt the wetness of her panties on my boxers. She bit her lip and her face went to that of pain.

_-So testosterone boys and harlequin girls-_

_-Dance to this beat-_

I thrusted against her lightly, letting my manhood drag against her core. Her face almost in pain but I felt that she was in bliss.

_-So testosterone boys and harlequin girls_

_-Dance to this beat—_

She squeezed her legs tightly as I began to thrust harder, allowing my manhood to linger upon her. Her legs began to shake as well as mine. I thrust as many times as I could before dragging my erection along her center.

_-And hold a lover CLOSE-_

I thrust once more screaming her name as she pushed further against me, causing me to lean onto her. Her hand was shaking upon mine. I felt like I had taken everything away from her, her innocence, her purity, her dominance. It caused guilt to form inside of me, an immense guilt that I couldn't take. My stomach twisted and tied inside of me as I felt her incredibly shaking hand. She was shaking so uncontrollably that it caused me to cry.

_-Let's get these teen hearts beating faster, faster-_

_-Let's get these teen hearts beating faster—_

I held onto her hand as she slowly turned around. She grabbed me into a hugging embrace but I felt tears fall from her eyes as well as mine. I had destroyed her for my own sexual pleasure. I couldn't take it. I pulled her off of me and looked at her deeply in the eyes, those light green eyes… It felt like my world had fallen down around me. I had done this to her. I had destroyed the only one I have ever loved. I cry in front of her, I let her see. I just can't… not anymore… I don't want this thought anymore. There was no more happiness in her face, no more love, no more innocence…

Just then I awoke.

"SAM!" I said as I screamed her name in ecstasy, I jumped to awake from my deep slumber. I looked around the room trying to remember where I was. When my sight was regained, I looked to my left to see Sam sitting down, awestruck with mouth agape. Tears filled my eyes as I remembered my depressing yet erotic dream. She still sat there, holding a magazine in her hand but not looking at it. She just looked at me as if someone had just gotten shot exactly where I was sitting. I shrugged to her…

"What…?" I asked dumbfounded.

She just looked at me and my right arm. She quickly jumped up with a blush and smile upon her face. She tripped over herself trying to get out of the room. My eyes, like my mouth, asked curiously.

"What'd I do?..." As I watched her almost fall over my bed.

When she was out of the room, I looked at myself to see what she saw. My right arm was under the covers and my hand felt a bit wet. Before the look of pure horror came across my face, I realized exactly where my hand was and hoped that what I had done was not what I thought it was. I pulled my hand out…

Revealing a white…

Sticky…

And Cum covered hand…

(**A/N- I sort of Hate this chapter… the end of my Sam stripper scene actually made **_**me**_** cry… and I'm the one who's writing it… I didn't intend on it to be like that… but I hope you saw the scene that I did in my writing. Sorry if the Seddie smut is a little underrated… My apologies… Reviews if you liked it… and Reviews if you felt the same way I did at the end of the Sam stripper scene… {sadness, depression, guilt…}**)

(**A/N- still have Sam's POV like always… my chapters are LONGGGG!**)

-Break-Break-

**SPOV**

I stood outside the door to room 315. I lay against the door with a huge smile and a rose red blush upon my face. My fingers were lingering around my mouth as my heart beat painfully in my chest. My legs were wobbling but my stomach was too tight for me to notice. Wetness overcame me as I remembered the action I had been a witness to. It embarrassed me but also got me hot and bothered. I quickly ran out of the hospital and did a sprint to my house.

A half an hour later, I was home and in my bed trying to forget as well as remember what I had seen. My heart pounded beneath my chest, I could hear the pulse of my heart, and my hands became wet and clammy as the memory ran through my head over and over again and again. It was all I could think about for the entire time I lay in my bed. My breath heaved in and out unevenly. I almost felt like I was going to suffocate as I took short breaths in and deep breaths out. I cover myself with my violet purple and blood red blanket. In that split second, I feel like I had fallen into a dream. A dream that felt so real but everything about it was too much for it _to_ be real. As I lay in the darkness under the dark colored blanket, my mind remembered the event that Freddie did.

(_**Earlier that Day**_)

_I told him "Thank you." As I jumped off his bed and sat back in the dark red, plastic chair. I stared at him as he leaned back to sleep._

I looked over to my right and saw a magazine. It was a magazine about what women want. I stared at the Title, 'Cosmopol-ography.' I skimmed through the magazine until I found a story I found particularly fun to read. It was a story about dreams after a near-death experience. The magazine said that if a patient were to have a near death experience and was forced to go to the hospital, the patient would have _happy_ dreams to negate the pain from the surgery and other pains. I smiled at the page and then I looked up at Freddie. He was a bit neutral, no smile but no anger either. I looked back at the page and read on. 'If the patient has not had any sexual release since he has entered the hospital, stay away from him for at least two days for an embarrassing moment will occur, for both parties.' I lifted my brow trying to understand what the magazine meant by '_embarrassing moment_.' I shrugged it off and kept reading. 'If the patient is in love with someone, then he will have a dream specifically based on that person. It will most likely be an adventure or special moment they have had together as he dreams. Nothing is more peaceful than being with the one you love.' I smiled and blushed as I looked up at Freddie once more. _He's dreaming of me_, I thought. _Dreaming a__ perfect__ dream of us together. _(**A/N- Oh… if only she knew**) I lay the magazine open upon my lap as I wait for his dream to begin. I know he has not been laid and he's too much of a stick-in-the-mud to masturbate. I began to wonder what his dream would be. Probably a dream about me… then again he might have a dream about sex with someone. I blushed thinking it was with me but pushed the thought away realizing he wouldn't be that starved for sexual release.

As I leaned back, a thought came to my own head. It made my spine shiver and tingles go up and down my body. The thought was me dancing for him. I was wearing a long blue dress and he was wearing half a tux. Soon the thought was overcome and glimpses of something came to my mind. As lightning struck inside my mind. The flash caused me to see something completely different. My dancing was the same but my clothes were different. In the flash of the lightning, my clothes went to that of an erotic dancer. A lace gown that almost looked purple, two dark purple lace gloves with a hint of sparkles. My nail polish was as black as the night sky. I stared at myself dancing an erotic dance that got me hot and bothered. I looked around and saw a small sign, 'After School Activities.' I even thought of a club name, why that I wondered. I stared at myself as the thought me danced seductively. In my mind, I walked forward but stopped as I looked at who was sitting on a small couch. My eyes bolted open as I could not take any more. I began to bite my finger as the thought echoed into my mind. Sooner than I thought, the thought had escaped my mind and I had completely forgotten about it.

I sat in a chair that not only was uncomfortable but did nothing for the strangeness between my legs. I gripped myself as I shook the feeling away but it came back as soon as I shook it off. I looked up at Freddie who was still deep in sleep. He looked a bit happy. I eyed him up and down until something caught my eye. I bit my lip so hard I felt like I was going to bleed if I bit any harder. My tongue danced behind my teeth as I stared at the sight I never would have believed I would see. My stomach churned as my fingers just wouldn't stay still as they moved up and down my legs. The pain in my stomach caused me to pull my legs to my chest as I stared directly at an arrow. It was in the middle of his body and it was the only thing pointing upwards. My eyes were drawn to it as I stared at it unable to falter my gaze. The wetness gripped me so tightly I felt almost unable to hold myself together. My tongue had stopped its dancing behind my teeth and stood motionless. My breath had become slow and meaningful pants as I watched. In only a fraction of a second, I stared at his face as a smile rose to him. I saw him bite his lip as he still kept dreaming. I tried to blink but I don't think my eyes would stand to be away from the object that lay before us.

My throat closed and I held my breath as I watched Freddie begin to do something. I looked quickly at the door to make sure no one was going to come inside. I stared at the door for a couple of seconds when I heard something that shattered my world. Moans… low moans… my eyes widened and my head slowly turned back to the boy that dreamt away. I took a deep gulp as I stared at the arrow. My bite got harsher and my fingers got curious. My hands had let go of my legs and moved six inches closer to where I didn't want them to go… at least not now… I let out a slow and inaudible breath as I took a deeper one that caused me to gasp for even more air. I saw something slide under his covers. It sneakily and without stopping slid its way down to the arrow like a snake. The moans had gotten louder as I heard a few pronunciations of letters.

"mmm…." I heard uttered from his mouth.

My mind went wild with the event I had been watching. It had darted around, deleting anything that would cause this memory to be forgotten. It moved around so fast that sweat poured from my head. It made the biggest section to store the memory for safe keeping not allowing anything to occupy it within a hundred yards. This memory was going to be special for a long time in my life. Just then the arrow moved upwards… then downwards… upwards again and then downwards very slowly. My eyes stared at this sight so close it made me feel like I was right next to it. Moans that came from the boy got longer and easier to understand.

"Sssss….mmmm" He uttered the letter pronunciations.

I looked closely at the arrow moving up and down and up and down. My right hand had crawled its way close to the place I really didn't want it to go. When it got there, my thoughts shattered and my eyes widened when I realized I got so incredibly wet at the sight of this. Like gravity and love, I had absolutely no control over my body anymore. My right hand had let its individual fingers roam around my body, moving my index finger up and down the wet spot that covered my core. I let out short pants as the arrow kept going up and down. My eyes tingled and my eyelids slowly twitched at the intensity of the moment. Just then, I heard a name escape the boy's lips as the arrow went faster up and down. I couldn't control the intensity of my fingers as my hand went faster up and down as well. I tilted my head to look away but the moans got louder and louder.

"Ssssaaaammmm…" he squirmed. The arrow going so fast up and down the covers couldn't even keep up.

My eyes widened and fixed itself on the arrow. My breath hitched as I saw the sight that will never leave my mind. The arrow went fast as Freddie squirmed even more, almost falling off the bed.

Then his back arched up high, forcing the arrow to go even higher. He screamed his moan.

"SAMMMMM!" he orgasmed in front of me as I heard him scream my name. My eyes widened when I knew I couldn't take anymore. My cheeks went to a fiery red and a smile overcoming my lips as I watched as he fell back down. I put my arms on my shoulder rests to get up when he shot up like a cannon yelling my name again.

"SAM!" I was awestruck and couldn't say a word. My cheeks burned on my face as I stared at him. He turned his face to me as I was his face look incredibly flushed. He heaved slowly while I just stared.

"What…?" I still stared unable to answer his question. I jumped up realizing too much was going through my mind and realizing that if I had the chance I'd fuck him right there. I tried to quickly run out the door but I tripped and hit everything that was even remotely in my path. I crawl ran to the door and quickly opened and closed it. I leaned against the door when I remembered his scream of my name. It echoed through my brain so much that it almost became all I could hear. My smile got wider and my blush got redder as I leaned against the hard surface of the door. My teeth chattered and my legs wobbled and my fingers twitched. I quickly ran to my house realizing exactly what I really desperately wanted to do.

(**Present**)

And here we are… under my covers… thinking about Freddie ejaculating in his sleep… while _I_ was three feet away. I watched every movement of the covers as he did so. I listened to his moans. I, without control, touched myself as well. I didn't go fast enough for any thing of embarrassing status to slip but I went fast enough that I needed out before I did something I know I _would not_ have regretted. I smiled as the echo repeated in my head…

"SAMMMMM!" he yelled it as he orgasmed. He was dreaming of_ me_… and having sex with _me_… Not some random girl at school… Not some random girl on television… _Me_. He dreamt of fucking _me_ and only _me_, the girl he loves… The surge went through my body when the thought came back to me. Me in that lace clothing dressed like an erotic dancer. Then I remembered the moment I had witnessed. Soon my fingers went to my lips hoping to be licked. But I bit them slightly as the surge radiated and repeated in the lower half of my body. I took a deep breath before my left hand moved downwards to get a sense of how hot and bothered I really was. When it touch a small wet spot, my eyes widened and my teeth bit harder onto my finger. I jumped oout from under my covers and ran to my bedroom door to close and lock it. I leaned up against it as the sound echoed again.

"SAMMMMM!" my head went fuzzy as I held onto my bedroom door knob. I shook my head quickly and went to my dresser to pick out a pair of pajamas with skulls on them. I lay it on the drawer and unfastened my jean pants. As I slid off my jeans, a smell wafted through the air. As it hit me, my eyes twitched and I stopped what I was doing for a moment. I tried to keep going but my arms wouldn't follow my orders. I shook my head again to get some control for a few moments. I quickly told myself. "A few more moments… just a few more moments…" I pulled my skull pj's on and almost stopped breathing as it brushed against my middle. I grabbed the dresser to steady myself, and took a few blocked breaths. My teeth had melted onto my bottom lip locking them together. After I took a deep breath I quickly jumped onto my bed before my body could lose control. As I threw over the blanket over my body, I quickly made sure of three things. My door was locked, no sound could be heard, and my windows were closed and blocked. When the covers jumped over my head, I heard the voice again.

"SAMMMMM!" it made my body shiver and my spine tingle. My arms flew upwards and were immovable for a few seconds. When the shiver and uncontrolableness subsided, I smiled. My teeth bit my lip as I smiled at what I was going to do. I had put this off for too long that it caused something to build up inside of me. I loosened my body up as my arms fell to my sides. For a few seconds my hands lifted up my shirt just above my belly button. My fingers surfed my body as I felt my skin under my fingertips. They had touched my hips first; gliding over them just enough that it gave me goose bumps. My fingers walked their way slowly up my stomach and trailed across my belly. My breath slowed and became very heavy. I held in a breath as I encircled my belly button with a very light touch. It tickled for a few seconds then it gave me tingles on the back of my neck. I lifted my shirt higher as my fingers gave a small touch trailing upwards. The feel felt almost foreign but I knew it was my own fingers. I closed my eyes as I lifted my shirt higher to reveal my ruby red bra. I took my shirt off and threw it out from under my covers. It landed on the side of my bed creating a pile that was soon going to house all the clothes I had on. My right hand moved upwards toward my left breast. It lightly strode over my bra passing over my bra covered nipple several times. I tightly closed my eyes as the feel got excessively more foreign. It almost felt that it was not my hand touching me. I opened my eyes enough to make sure that it was my own. It was… I don't understand how my own touch felt foreign in my eyes. I did the same thing on the other side with my other hand. I tightened my eyes closed as my right hand began to go further. It jumped off my bra and touched my bare flesh. It tickled for just a few moments then sent surges to a part of my body that I wanted to be ignored… at least for now… My left hand went behind my back and unclipped my bra. Soon my hands slowly worked together and with each inch my bra uncovered my hands would touch it ever so lightly, causing the hairs on my body to stand on end. When my entire bra was off, my left hand dropped it into my laundry pile next to my bed. When my hands returned to their positions, they grew bolder. As I was dropping my bra onto the floor, I had been sucking on my right index finger. My senses went haywire as my hand trailed downwards to my breast. When it passed over my nipple, the wetness of my index finger connected and my head jumped up. As the feeling slowly subsided, it did it again and like before it was just as surging. My head flew up, my eyes tightened and my breath held the air. My index finger encircled my nipple so much the nipple tightened like a little pink pencil eraser. My hand again felt foreign to my body as it touched the hard nipple. It squeezed it lightly then grazed it causing me to let out a short but meaningful moan. My head turned to its side as the feeling gripped me tightly. My stomach began to constrict as my finger tightened its grip around my nipple, twisting it ever so slightly. I let out a short gruntish moan as my face scrunched up. Before going any further, I grabbed my breast tightly in my hand. It sent shocks so harsh down to my core that I almost felt like I wasn't going to finish. But I pushed through. My fingers let go of my breast slowly as they dragged their fingers away. My hands slowly, without much speed, moved downwards towards my pajamas. When they passed over my belly button I took a deep breath and held it, and slowly let it out in a listless moan. When my fingers touched the felt of my pajamas they stopped as if I had just touched a third degree burn. My hands teased me as they went further down. They touched my legs lightly before strolling upwards to my inner thighs. The tenderness of my thighs forced a teary moan to escape my pursed lips. My teeth chattered fast and painful as my hands tiptoed upwards from my thighs. My heart beat at two-hundred beats per minute. I almost felt like I had waited maybe a _little_ **too** long to do this. My fingers teased me even more as they jumped over the altar and back to my stomach. The emptiness of my stomach encompassed my entire body. The desire depleted everything, my mind was empty, my stomach was begging for something, and my heart wanted to be slowed quickly. I gently lifted the elastic of my pajamas before inserting a hand. I touched the panties I had been wearing. I had no idea how wet I was until I felt my panties. They were drenched, soaked… like I had just jumped into the Seattle Lake. I heard a few squishes but then laughed at how wet I was. Was that all me alone, or was most of that what I saw Freddie do? I pulled my hand out and went under my panties, combing their way through the short pubic hairs…(**A/N- sorry… just wanted to give you a sense of what she's got…lol-but not really…**) I stopped my self before I got too far. I took deep breaths as I leaned my head to look down at what I was about to do. I licked my lips as I looked back upwards with a look of pure terror on my face. There was no reason for it, but after the day I had I think I wanted to be safe. After a while, my hands got numb and my touch felt foreign once more. I tightened my eyes as I lowered my hands closer to the place that I had ignored for too long. As soon as my fingers passed by the small little nub, my back arched and my head went back to earlier in the day. I watched as that arrow went up and down, up… and down… I bit my lip and began to think of that dreaming boy. My fingers lowered as I touched the outer lips causing a sensation to grab my throat. My index finger extended itself, and starting at the bottom dragged itself upwards causing my arms to relax and tense simultaneously. I tightened my eyes and I remembered the arrow again. My fingers prepared themselves. As the arrow went up, my middle finger stood at the entrance. When the arrow went down, my finger pushed inside at the same speed as the arrow. I grunted with a tight look on my face. My finger went in so easily, it scared me.

I gave out a long, low, inaudible moan, "fffreeeddddieeee…."

My body tensed around my finger. The wetness of my private place transferred itself onto my hand. As the arrow went up, my finger went out. As the figure went down, my finger went in. My body stayed in tune with the thought I had. I let out moans of Freddie's name as I went in. I grabbed my pajamas with my free hand tightly as my finger continued to go in. Soon enough, the echo returned.

"Ssssaaaammmm…" it echoed as my fingers matched the movements he had made. With every insert, my body tensed and my throat let out his name in a moan. Soon the arrow sped up. My fingers did the same as my stomach got emptier and my heart beat faster. Every movement I made, my hand tightened its grip on my pajamas and my other hand got even more drenched than before. The arrow sped up again and my fingers were happy to speed up. When the movement sped up, I let out even more moans with Freddie's name even louder than before. Soon it got so loud I had to bite my lip to keep it from being uttered anymore. My face scrunched up when the arrow's speed reached it max. During this time, there wasn't a full second that I did not scream out Freddie's name. My hand was drenched in the wetness that was beneath my pajamas and my other hand was hurting for gripping my pajamas so tightly. My toes tightened as I sped up even fast than how fast the arrow was moving. I felt my back arch as the thought ran through my head.

"SAMMMMM!" he had yelled in my head.

"FREDDIEEEE!" I had yelled in my bed. I orgasmed, as I plunged my fingers even further, and even deeper into myself. I screamed his name again, but this time just a little lower.

I lowered my back as I still pushed my fingers into myself forcing the moment to linger a little further. Soon it began to hurt because my lips were so tender. I began to tear up as I saw the boy I loved come down off his high. I slipped my finger out in a pop causing me to seethe in pain. I slipped my hand out from under my pajamas and brought it to my mouth. I took one lick of my middle finger and closed my eyes as the intoxicating smell of sex burned into my nostrils. I lay under my covers, half naked, marinating in the smell and juices that were pouring out from me. The smell got me so hot and bothered; I almost couldn't even stop my eyes from twitching. I sucked on my middle finger for five minutes before a sound came to me from the other side of my covers. My pearphone was sitting on my dresser, singing a tune I began to laugh at.

_-Let's get these teen hearts beating FASTER, FASTER—_

_-So testosterone boys and harlequin girls—_

_-Will you dance to this beat and hold a lover close?—_

I laughed to myself as I threw off my covers knowing full well who had called me. As I picked up the phone, I listened to their voice as I tried not to get turned on by the way they said my name, the name that echoed in my mind every time I heard this person's voice or even thought about this person.

"SAMMMMM!" my nipples hardened as I wrapped my arm around myself feeling a bit embarrassed. It was Freddie on the other side of the phone call. If only he had knew what I had just done with the thought of him in my head. I licked my lips as I listened to what he said. He sounded a bit sad as I listened.

"I'm sorry for what you saw… I hope I didn't embarrass you… I wanted to apologize. I kind of want to see you again…" His voice broke my heart with every word. "I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me…" I almost cried. "If not… its fine… you don't still have to be my girlfriend… well talk to you later…bye…" I couldn't say anything… I was frozen… I dropped the phone and fell to my knees. I began to cry at the sound of how incredibly heartbreaking his words felt.

_Why didn't you say anything… now he feels like he hurt you… damn it… you should have said something…we got to make it up to him... _I thought to myself. "Hey… Carly doesn't know he's in the hospital. Damn… I should have called them… That'll perk him up right? How can it not when she's around? Even I find myself strangely happy when she around. Yepp that's what I'm gunna do."

I pulled off all my clothes and threw them into the pile next to my bed. I told you it would soon house all my clothes. I laughed to myself. I looked at myself in my mirror and felt strangely happy. Though there was one thing that bothered me… I was happy… that I was staring at myself… completely nude… I shook my head in embarrassment and grabbed rifled through my underwear drawer to find a pair of black lace panties. Quickly putting them on I looked through my pants drawer and found a pair of tight black elastic pajamas that hug to every curve of my legs. I pulled out a nice jean skirt and pulled it over my "huggly" pajamas. I smiled and laughed. I grabbed out a belt with yellow and black studs and wrapped it around a random place on my skirt. I looked into my bra drawer and found nothing that looked good in the outfit I was wearing. I closed the drawer then walked to my closet. And sitting next to the door in its glass case, (yes I'm like that.) was my black and red polka dotted lace bra. I put it on and realized I needed a shirt. I walked around my small closet and found the cutest purple t shirt with skulls on it wearing a red bow above their heads. I ripped it off its hangar and put it on. I stared at myself in the mirror and found that my outfit just was not finished; I needed one thing to put it over the top. I looked around my room and remembered exactly where I put them. I got to my knees and looked under my bed and found my small shoe box. I put it on my bed and opened it, and found a picture of me lying on Freddie on the couch. I was sleeping in the picture. I held it here because it was a cherished memory, I brought it to my chest and squealed at the incredibly lovingness of the picture. (**A/N- if you wanted to know why I put that picture in the box, think of Sam as a Seddie lover and she just saw a picture of Seddie love… the squeal of a Seddie lover when they see a picture of pure Seddie is how she felt when she saw that picture**) I put the picture back in the box and moved around things inside the box. I moved my diary and a pair of handcuffs that Freddie had put on me that one time he handcuffed me to Gibby. The handcuffs brought a thought that almost made me stop in my tracks and repeat what I had done less than ten minutes ago. "Later..." I said to myself and I shook the thought away. When I moved the handcuffs out of the way I found exactly what I was looking for.

_A pair of purple lace gloves with very small sparkles on it._

(**A/N- yes she has a lot of lingerie… all bought at her favorite place to buy them… Spencer Gifts… noo…. Build-A-Bra… noo… yeppp Spencers Gifts…**)

I put the gloves on and got back up after returning my box back under my bed. As I straightened my gloves as I stood in front of the mirror, I smiled at how incredibly sexy I felt wearing the sexiest lingerie money could buy. I almost felt like I was being felt up by smoothness. I licked my lips at the thought of the idea. I looked at myself in the mirror and did some sexy poses. "I wonder if Freddie would like this…?" I turned around and leaned forward showing off my ass. The entirety of the situation began to get me turned on so I quickly stopped. I grabbed my brush and brushed my hair for about five minutes before leaving for Carly's.

I skipped for her house when the thought echoed again, but this time the thought went further than what I had seen.

I was standing in front of my mirror, bent over staring straight at myself. My arms were against the sides of the mirror. Just then someone came from the darkness and grabbed my hips. The thought gripped me tightly as I stopped skipping and bit my finger. I looked at what I was wearing and saw I was wearing a bra and my panties were around my ankles. The dark person in the mirror was also wearing nothing. He gripped my hips and thrust. The fell against the wall as a feeling between my legs pulsated. I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed my face was scrunched. With every push, a sound escaped and it felt my teeth giving a "fsss…" My right hand was on his as he pushed again, this time my head fell upon the mirror. My hand shook on top of his. My body was failing me. I fell to the floor against the building as my teeth chewed on my finger. I looked back and began to cry as I saw such love and lust in his eyes. I smiled in a way that was understandable and cried in a way I couldn't give reason for. He pushed once more and a name escaped each of our mouths…

"SAMMMMM!"

And "FREDDIEEEE!"

-Break-Break-

**A/N- I hope you enjoyed this incredibly teasing Seddie Smut… though I gave you some Sex between them it was only their sexual fantasies…**

**Freddie had a wet dream… while Sam masturbated about Freddie ejaculating screaming her name… which I TOTALLY had soooo much fun writing about…**

**I'm such a Sam lover it's not even funny… I write Sam POV's longer than my Freddie POV's**

**BECAUSE SAM IS SEXY AND AWESOME!**

**I did not intend on ending this chapter with a rapish type session between Freddie and Sam but hey I wanted to have that slow lean out of the chapter…**

**I am twitching over how sexy and incredibly intimate SPOV was… Hopefully this makes you happy as it did me (happy meaning sexually frustrated)… next chapter will be pretty boring… but will have DRAMA! Drama…**

**Sam hassss soooooo much lingerie… I am soo happy about it… wanted to give her this incredibly sexual side that no one knows… I'm a virgin so don't criticize me on how incredibly unreal Sam's masturbation scene was…**

**Review if you enjoyed my Seddie smut… because there is more on the way… in a couple of chapters… please tell me it got **_**you**_** hot and bothered and I'll totally give you a bunch of special cookies… I wanted her sexual episode to be sensual so I tried not to use any degrading words that felt very unintimate… like cock or vagina or pussy… because those kind of words are grown up words that don't fit into a sensual story like this… some of what she was wearing I got from Fall Out Boy's Grand Theft Autumn Video when the guy videotapes her getting dressed…(sexy…)**

**So yea… Review and the next chapter will be up soon…**

Next chapter- "_Today's the day we drop out…_"


	4. Today's the day we drop out

_**The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows…**_

**A/N- okay… no smut in this chapter… but it will have some racy clothing… and awkward stares… wouldn't you if you watched the love of you life jack off right in front of you… a lot of drama… I've had this chapter in my head for about 2 weeks… knowing some little things I'd put in it… so well… hopefully this is my favorite chapter but I've got to say my fav chap was number 3 because of the smut I put those two through… ergh it was one of my fantasies with that type of clothing…. *shakes head* toally had to have it as a Freddie sex fantasy…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ICarly or any of its characters "I don't care about the words I'm saying" (if you watch ICarly you'd know Howard said that in the School at Sea episode when Missy was trying to take back Carly… totally a Seddie friendly episode at the end… "I did it to protect ICarly…" "No you Care for Sam…")**

**I tried to write another fanfic but my heart just isn't in any other fanfics other than Seddie…**

**I tried Jalex(Wiz o Wav Plac) and that didn't pan out so well…**

**And I'll try to do a Cade(Victorious) and hopefully that'll work…**

**Sorry my "Airplane" story still hasn't been updated but I just don't know where to go with that one… how to… follow such a gripping/depressing story like that one up…**

**This will be Sam heavy… mostly because I want to keep a bit of mystery in the story…**

**Well without further ado and no more procrastination… I give you…**

-Break-Break-

Chapter Four-_ "Today's the day we drop out…"_

**FPOV**

There we were… explaining to the one person we didn't want to explain our love to, but I guess choices bring us to this point. It was Sam's choice for me to be her boyfriend, her choice to want to be known as my girlfriend, her choice to bring Carly to a place where people believe she's my girlfriend. I should have known it would come to this when I first saw her enter my room. Though I wished it didn't happen this fast, I mean I did just recover from the worst beating of my life. I was about to speak when Sam cut me off…

"You think me and Fredloser are together… nooooooo…" she put her finger in her mouth and made a gagging noise. I looked at her, thinking I was hearing things. As I stared at her, I almost felt my heart break into a million tiny pieces. My throat almost nearly collapsed on itself. I really just couldn't breathe after what she had said. I quickly looked down towards the end of my hospital bed, trying to understand the gravity of what she just said. My eyes widened in horror as my heart sank even lower. The feeling in my throat overcame me and I wanted to throw up. I couldn't run from this situation, more than anything I wanted to. I wanted to shut out her words, shut her out, but my mind wouldn't allow me. It listened to every syllable of every word in her sentence and engraved it into my brain. I wanted to run out of that hospital room, run to the top of the hospital and jump off. I even knew exactly where I wanted to land, but my legs were weak, my heart was completely shattered, and my life was no longer worth the effort.

I have been in love with Sam for basically my entire life and yesterday I believed she did too, but I guess that was a lie. I guess I was nothing more than the sad boy of the hour to care for. I gripped the handles of my bed trying to hold myself together, it wasn't working. I tried to look at Sam again, but the immense pain… it overtook every inch of my body and my neck wouldn't even move.

"Where would you get a stupid idea like that, Carl's. This nub only wishes he was my boyfriend…" she scoffed pushing the stake of hurt even deeper.

"Well, must have been my imagination…" Carly said, leaning against the wall.

"We should check you into the psych ward for thoughts like those…" Sam joked, I wasn't laughing.

"Yea…" Carly laughed.

I wanted these two to leave and never speak to me again, what they were doing was causing me to be borderline suicidal. I had not breathed a single breath since Sam said such a hurtful phrase.

"Let's go get you some food to make sure you don't get those thoughts ever again." Sam said, pushing Carly out the door.

As they left, I leaned on my side as depression sunk in further for me to operate my motor functions. Before the door closed, I felt her eyes staring at me. Those pale blue eyes… Those soulless… unloving… pale… blue… eyes… Before she left, I broke down. Crying unlike I had done before. Every time a tear arrived on my eyelid, pain gripped the cuts. Before I heard the door close, I felt a hand on my shoulder, it was Sam, she was crying as well.

I said only one word, so cold, and heartless like hers had been, "Leave…"

"I'm sorry…. I'm sooooo sorry… You know I didn't mean it…" her voice as sincere as it ever could have been.

"I told you…. To go…" My voice was just above a whisper and as cold as the frozen tundra.

My heart was gone; she had ripped it from its home and expected everything to just be okay. I thought she had loved me; guess I was just a fool to believe such a thing could have ever existed.

She held onto my arm, trembling. She wouldn't leave.

I sat up on the bed. "Look, you either love me or you don't. Don't play with my emotions like they're toys for you to play with at one point then throw away the next. Sam… I love you more than anything… but what you just said to Carly makes me regret even living through Shane's beating."

"You don't mean that…" her voice was almost inaudible.

"If you don't want to be my girlfriend… just tell me and I'll be happy to never see you again…" I said sternly almost killing myself in the process.

"I do… it's just…" She stammered.

"It's just what? Just that you don't want to be seen with me… is that it? I'm not good enough to be seen with you… is that what you're saying… Fine… then leave… and never come back… you'll never have to be seen with me… ever." I pointed towards the door.

Tears streamed from her eyes as she stared at her lap. "I love you… Freddie… I wanted to tell Carly… but I was scared…" With her head down in shame, she got up and left.

As I stared at the door, my heart fell and all I could hear is one long and annoying beep.

**

I felt… comfort… but I also felt pain… I couldn't explain to you why, because I don't even know.

In the darkness, I sat on the floor. I stared off into space and began to think of why my life just ended. Why Sam said she would never be my girlfriend. Why she said such hurtful things about me to Carly, while I was still in the room. Then I heard a couple of non-understandable words.

"CLEAR…" was all that could be heard echoing my mind.

I looked upwards towards the darkness and smiled as I laughed to myself.

"I Guess...

I'm _dying_…"

**A/N- short FPOV… but I told you it was a Sam heavy chapter. Hope that POV will keep you intrigued on how this story will turn out… don't yell at me for their conversations…. I'm not very good getting into the ability to write conversations… hope it didn't seem sort of forced… Review...**

-Break-Break-

**SPOV- **_A few minutes from where we left her last chapter_

"_SAMMMMM!"_ the name echoed my head, waking me from my short slumber against the apartment building.

My finger was incredibly red, understandable since I _did_ chew on it. I pushed my self up off the wall and reorganized my skirt and shirt. Patting my skirt, I held onto the wall. I took a deep breath and continued walking to Carly's house, stopping ever couple of minutes after hearing the echo in my head.

"_SAMMMMM!"_ it made my walk even that harder to take. When I arrived at her door

I stood for a second and asked myself why I was even there. Then I heard a different echo. _"FREDDIEEEE!"_ Then my body tingled and I pretty much fell against the door. Spencer was at the door in an instant.

"Hey Kiddo… what's up? Find Freddie? What are you wearing… I don't think I'm comfortable with the clothes you're wearing." Spencer eyed her up and down.

"Oh shut up Spencer…" I smiled and laughed at his comments and concerns.

"Yea… funny…" Spencer said hesitantly.

"Where's Carly, we got to go…" I said without explaining what happened to Freddie.

"Where you goin…?" Spencer asked curiously.

"Hospital…" I said bluntly.

"Oh MY GOD… ARE YOU PREGNANT!" He said a little overly freaky.

"Who's pregnant?" Carly bounced down the stairs in a pink short sleeve shirt and tight jean pants.

"We got to go to the hospital…" I motioned for Carly to leave the apartment, but she wouldn't budge.

"Why…?" Carly said closing her eyes slightly in that questionable nature.

"I don't have time to explain… come on let's go…" I motioned to the door, waving my arm faster.

"Fine… Spencer… Drive us?" she asked but I could tell it was more of an order.

Spencer raised an eyebrow than ran into his room to get his car keys. He came back a minute later with a jacket and an umbrella… well what looked like an umbrella.

"Why an umbrella?" Carly asked.

"You never know what you'll need when you leave the house." Spencer said in his childish voice.

A few minutes later, we were in the car and heading for the hospital. The air was so acrid, that I was basically waiting for someone to ask the unanswered question.

"So… why are we going to the hospital?" Carly asked from the back seat.

I didn't answer straight away, I just stared out the window looking at the dark clouds hovering around. Then I heard it again… the echo…

"_SAMMMMM!"_ the echo caused me to fidget in my seat and also caused me to take a deep breath unlike any I've ever breathed.

"SAMMMMM!" I thought it was the echo again, but it was only Spencer yelling at me to answer Carly's question.

"I'm Pregnant…" I said jokingly, but Spencer and Carly didn't laugh.

"That's not funny…" they said simultaneously.

"Was to me…" I smiled and looked back out the window.

"So…. You gunna tell us?" Spencer said.

"No…" I said teasingly.

Carly hit me in the arm lightly. _"SAMMMMM!"_ and the sound of my name brought the echo back again. _"FREDDIEEEE!"_

I bit my lip as my breath hitched remembering that sexual experience I had day dreamed about.

Carly hit me again. "Fine… I'll tell you…" I stopped trying to build up the suspense. After a few seconds, they yelled at me. "Freddie's in the hospital…" I said smiling just a bit too much.

"How could you be smiling at a time like this…?" Carly yelled at me.

"Well… ummm some things happened for me to be happy about it…" I said a bit suspiciously.

"Like…?" they said simultaneously again.

I smiled and blushed as I looked back out the window. "Meh… Just things…" I said bringing my finger to my mouth and biting it as I remembered the kiss me and Freddie shared. Then my thoughts dashed to the arrow I had seen going up and down. I took a deep breath letting out an accidental moan.

"What was that?" Carly looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

I looked at her with my eyebrows raised acting like I didn't do a thing.

"Nothing… how did Freddie get sent to the hospital in the first place...?" Carly asked.

"My ex, Shane beat him up… then to Shane's misfortune, he got hit by a car." I lied again; knowing that if I told her that I beat Shane up would give me questions I didn't want to answer.

"When'd this happen…?" Carly asked another question, it seemed like she had a million.

"About a few minutes before I went looking for Freddie to do ICarly." I turned and looked at her.

"That was over six hours ago… What did you do… sleep with him?" she said jokingly but I wasn't laughing, I was just blushing.

I looked away from her before she noticed.

"I just… wanted to make sure he was okay before I found you…" I said a bit embarrassed as I gave a bit more information than intended.

"Why would you care… when he got hit by that taco van, you bought one before going and getting Spencer." Carly said a bit evily.

"Well… I was the only one around… and back then, you were okay being by his side… I knew I didn't need you guys or anything…" I said, again giving too much information than intended.

"Well you coulda called…" Carly said looking at me in the corner of her eye as if switches were flipping on in her head.

"Yea… I coulda… but I didn't want to…" I quickly realized that was too much information and I quickly fixed it. "Too much work…"

Carly still looked at me... with those green eyes… I knew I just flipped the biggest switch of the night.

When we arrived at the hospital, Carly told Spencer to wait in the car. Carly was walking towards the information center when I ran up to her and told her I knew where Freddie was staying. Room 315.

We got to the elevator and I pressed the button several times before the slow ass doors closed again. "Again with these slow damn doors…" I said.

As I waited for the elevator doors to open, I felt Carly's stare on my back, but I didn't say anything. When the elevator arrived at the requested floor, I ran out of the door and quickly realized that Carly was watching me intuitively. I stopped in front of Freddie's door and looked at Carly who was slowly walking towards me. What happened next… made me remember what I pretty much totally forgot about what I had done earlier and the choice I had made to do.

"Oh hello Sam… You're boyfriend is up and he's been asking for you the entire time… He's getting quite annoying really…" the woman in green said.

"What did she just say?" Carly overheard what she said.

I gulped hard, when I pushed Carly inside the door trying to get rid of the conversation. I totally forgot that here… _Freddie's my boyfriend_… ergh…

When we got into the room… I saw Freddie sitting there staring out the window at the orange and purple evening sky. When the door slammed close, on accident, he jumped and looked towards the door. I looked at his face and only one thing came to mind, the arrow… I took a deep breath as we looked into each others eyes awkwardly. I broke the stare and looked at Carly, who was staring at our awkward glances.

Before I could say anything, Carly ran up to Freddie and gave him a big hug. My body was steaming as anger gripped me as she hugged him was too tightly and way too lovingly. I mean, don't get me wrong, she was his friend as well but he's _my_ boyfriend, not hers. I looked at Freddie and saw that he was afraid of what to do, so he didn't do anything. When she let go of him, she jumped off the bed and stood close to him, holding her hands cuffed out in front of her.

"So you gunna tell me what happened…?" Carly asked Freddie.

Before Freddie could answer, I answered for him. "He got beat up by Shane… I told you that…"

Carly glared at me. "I know that… but why did he beat you up?" She stared at Freddie.

Again, before Freddie could answer, I answered for him. "Shane wanted to get to me so he beat him up… Then when he finished, he was about to walk into the apartment building when some driver hit him with his van."

Carly leered at me as I did not let Freddie say one word, better to leave the lies to me.

I leered back as the one question came back to her.

"What did that nurse say about you being Freddie's girlfriend?" Carly asked proudly.

"Oh… I was the one to bring him into the hospital and the nurses around here thought I was his girlfriend or something… I shoulda told them something different but when I got here it was kinda too late and it already got to like everyone on this level." I lied so well.

I don't think Carly was buying it. "You're lying Sam… Are you Freddie's girlfriend or aren't you? Remember… we said no secrets between us after you two kissed…"

I had to get her off my back… and it hurt me to even try but I had to do this. I just wish Freddie wasn't here or at least that he was asleep when I did, but he wasn't. He was sitting there, looking at me, smiling. I knew he was ready to tell her… but I wasn't.

"You think me and Fredloser are together… nooooooo…" I put my finger into my throat, not like I neede to, I already felt sick saying hurtful words like that in front of the only guy I've loved. I almost felt the tears running down my eyes as I had to lay the lie on so thick it'd hurt us.

Before I said my next lie, I looked at Freddie who was looking at the end of his bed. His face went as pale as death itself. It almost made me break down and cry right there. But I was just not ready for Carly to know about us just yet, he would just have to deal. Deal like I was.

"Where would you get a stupid idea like that, Carl's. This nub only wishes he was my boyfriend…" I lifted up my thumb and pointed it at him. I let out the most depressing laugh in the world as I almost heard the sound of his heart breaking. Tears overcame my eyes as I tried not to cry.

"Well, must have been my imagination…" Carly said as she leaned back against the wall beside her.

Freddie had gripped the handles on his bed as I saw the paleness get worse.

I tried to joke about it, "We should check you into the psych ward for thoughts like those…" but I saw that with every word I said, Freddie was dying inside.

"Yea…" Carly said pushing herself off the wall and walking towards the door.

I pushed Carly out the door, knowing the mess I just created inside of Freddie. I needed to explain myself, why I had to do that… I'm sure he'd understand… right? "Let's go get you some food to make sure you don't get those thoughts ever again."

When Carly was out the door, I turned to look at Freddie who turned to his side and began to cry. I destroyed him… As I collected my words I walked over to him and put my hand on his arm. The only reaction I got out of him was one word. It meant death to me when I heard it.

"Leave…" he said as cold as ice.

A tear fell from my eyes and I was about to say why I did what I did but all that came out was the worthless words. "I'm sorry…. I'm sooooo sorry… You know I didn't mean it…"

"I told you… to go…" his voice was harsh and his words were colder than before.

I killed the sweetest part of him… He had died and I hadn't even noticed it until it was too late. I should have told her… I should have said that I loved Freddie and we were together… but I didn't and now Freddie is gone… The Freddie that was here now was unloving and very bitter.

He wanted me to leave, I knew it. But I held onto that dim little hope that the loving part of him was still in there… some where that I had not destroyed. I searched for it. He turned to lean on his back and then he sat up, still with tears in his eyes.

"Look, you either love me or you don't. Don't play with my emotions like they're toys for you to play with at one point then throw away the next. Sam… I love you more than anything… but what you just said to Carly makes me regret even living through Shane's beating." He said so bitterly and so depressingly, tears fell from eyes.

"You don't mean that…" I croaked.

"If you don't want to be my girlfriend… just tell me and I'll be happy to never see you again…" His voice was like shots from a nail gun.

"I do… it's just…" I tried to explain myself but my mind was broken.

"It's just what? Just that you don't want to be seen with me… is that it? I'm not good enough to be seen with you… is that what you're saying… Fine… then leave… and never come back… you'll never have to be seen with me… ever." I looked at his arm pointing at the door. My world and life had ended in a wave of the arm. One minute I was head over heels desperately in love with Freddie T Benson… Now… due to my choices… I had lost the one person that held my heart after ripping his out and spitting on it to lie to a friend.

My life had ended and the only words that I could express to him were these... "I love you… Freddie… I wanted to tell Carly… but I was scared…" I got up… crying every step towards the door. As I exited the room, the sky had grown dark and the clouds had overcome the world. I left the world's darkest room in shadows.

When I walked out, I saw Carly down the hall waiting at the elevators. As I began to walk, I heard a sound that was incredibly annoying…

**

Then I heard all the nurses jump and yell… "Get the crash cart… he's coding..."

When I was about ten feet from Carly, I saw the look of horror on her face. I stared at her horrific face and leaned my heard slightly to the left.

"What room?..." I heard a nurse yell.

What I heard next… will haunt my thoughts forever. Tears fell as I heard the numbers that truly meant the death of me. I yelled and fell to my knees as I began to cry.

"Room 315!" the nurse yelled from down the hall.

Carly ran up to me and grabbed me before I fell to the floor completely.

She picked me up and we both hobbled to his room. When we got there, the nurse had called "CLEAR!" seven times. My heart was breaking at the sight of this. I was the one.. I killed him… it's all my fault… I killed Freddie… I killed the love of my life… After the tenth "CLEAR!" the nurse called Time of Death. Before the final nurse passed by me she told me, "He loved you a lot… you should know that… He said how great a person you were… How beautiful… the things he told me made me cry…" My throat clogged as I heard the depression in her voice.

"I know… I loved him as well…" I said as Carly looked at me with that one look that said, 'I knew it!'

"Carly… can you bring me in there… I want to see my boyfriend…" I told her confidently though I was dead inside.

"Sure…" Carly sighed as she hobbled me next to Freddie's dead body.

As I stood next to him, I felt my life ending right there. I couldn't go on. I knew that once I left here… I would be no more… I looked at Carly and asked her to leave so I could say my goodbyes, for now…

When Carly left she shut the door and I held onto Freddie's cold hand. I leaned in and kissed him once wishing that he would do what he did before and kiss me back just as hot. But he didn't. When I finished, I leaned into his ear and told him anything I could come up with to keep him on earth.

"Hey love… you can't leave me… I won't allow that… you have to come back… we still haven't had sex…" I laughed… "We have to make our dreams come true… come back to me… and I'll make everything alright again… I'll never break your heart again… Please… don't go… I need you… more than anyone… you keep my life going... remember earlier today when we shared our greatest kiss… don't you want a million more of those… later on…" I laughed in embarrassment of what I was about to say. "I saw you masturbate to me… what was the dream… I bet it was sexy… probably us having sex on ICarly… or me being a stripper…" I laugh but I remember my dream from earlier that day. "Guess what?" I smile as I lean more his ear… I whisper… "I masturbated to you masturbating to me… and from a thought I came here wearing the sexiest lingerie I have, lace underwear… polka dotted bra… and lace gloves… So you have to wake up and come back to me… so you can take it off…" I see that not one thing has changed within him. Then something I didn't expect came to mind…

An echo…

An echo I have heard all day…

"_SAMMMMM!"_ I heard it… and a feeling wrapped itself around my body causing me to say something myself…

""FREDDIEEEE!" I moaned into his ear…

The thought and feeling gripped me so tightly, that I orgasmed right there. I couldn't explain to you why that happened. I didn't know myself.

But in that _perfect_ moment… I heard something…

"Did we just have sex… because I think I just came…" I laughed as I heard a whisper.

(**A/N- to those who think this is OOC, F U!**)

Freddie…

Was _alive_…

-Break-Break-

**A/N- you didn't expect me to kill half a Seddie off did you? You must really be trippin… Seddie is the only true love in the world… Who am I to kill such true love… You can expect why I didn't have much of an FPOV… he wasn't much in this story… it was mostly Sam getting Carly and accidentally dropping hints at her and Freddie's romance and relationship…**

**Sadly this was more dramatic than I intended but I hope you guys enjoyed the story so far…**

**Give me reviews cause I'd really like to know that people still care about this story… at least I'm keeping it updated at least once a week… sorry can't be sooner… I can't update until Fridays… but review…**

**It's because of you guys that I'm even writing these… so please review… **

Next Chapter- _"Gave up my body and bed…" (It is a Seddie sex chapter… so yeah)_


	5. Gave up my Body and Bed

_**The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows…**_

**A/N- I've had this in my mind… and I'm VERY proud of it… This is my smut chapter… trust me… this is going to be the BEST chapter ever… with chap 3 in very close second… DOMINATION is like an underlying sex fantasy of mine so… that's why all my smut chapters are about domination… This chapter is more based on sexual frustration, which leads to femdom… I wrote about this once before… same sort of feel… And that one, always got me hot and bothered… hopefully I do this extremely well…**

**But do not leave me without writing a review… that like stealing… and stealing is wrong… as wrong as not masturbating to smut or porn… so read and review…**

**Disclaimer- I do not own ICarly or any of its characters… Because slavery is illegal…(this is funny =))**

**Want to give my shout outs…**

**To the good reviews by purple-ripples… probably my favorite reviewer… **

**Not to forget 'twi-hard-twilight-addict,' you have long comments… no worries I enjoy that…**

**And definitely KarlaRockAngel…**

**And a very funny review from wish-he-would-catch-me…**

**What I find very funny… 90% of my fans are girls… when this is a primarily sex based story… but the fact that a bunch of girls/woman enjoy my story actually kind of makes me happy… if it is right by the female persuasion, then I know I'm doing well…**

**Keep reviewing and you may get a shout out… maybe… but not really… would take too much work… I'm lazy… but I enjoy the reviews…**

**Its because of you that I even keep going…**

**And its because of you that I have the guilt to not stop no matter what…**

**God that guilt does not feel good…**

**Well without further humor or guiltiness… let's get on with the show…**

-Break-Break-

Chapter Five- _"Gave up my body and bed…"_

**SPOV**

"_Did we just have sex… because I think I just came…" _the sentence echoed loudly in my head. Like it had done for the past three days, in that small whisper barely audible to the human ear. That phrase has been all I've been thinking of for these past few days. Some times I can't even continue with what I was doing after thinking of that phrase. I've grown accustomed to it; it has been the defining moment of my life. Freddie and I were now together, like boyfriend and girlfriend. It's lasted for what? Four days? Yeah… that would be it, he got out of the hospital on Thursday, and he died for six minutes on Tuesday. So yeah… four days. Ever since he has died, I have been careful what I say around him; I don't want what happened between him and I to happen again. Because I don't think he'll come back to me the next time. It was shear luck that he came back last time. He's been at home for a day or two and he and I haven't done anything fun. We haven't even really hung out. Maybe that's why I'm here, to get more time with him.

Since the hospital scene, I have begun to stay at Carly's, so I'm there when Freddie needs me. But although we're together, I feel like we live a million miles away from each other. Carly has been nice enough to open her home for me, I guess even she would want to be close to the guy she loves too. She let me crash on the couch for as long as I wanted, but every night I lie on that couch, all that comes to my mind is the fact that I am mere steps away from Freddie and then the echo comes again and I just can't stop myself.

"_Did we just have sex… because I think I just came…"_ I push my finger in for the thirtieth time that night. I wiggle all over the couch to make myself touch something great on accident. As I keep pushing my finger inside myself, all I can think of is the arrow, the sex dream, his screams, and one sentence…

"_Did we just have sex… because I think I just came…" _It has echoed in my mind often. And often times, I would have to stop what I was doing and run to the nearest bathroom. If it was at night, I'd stay where I was and let my hand stroll down to my love nest and have some fun. I have masturbated to his words a total of twenty times over the past three days. I have cum over twenty times to his words alone. I can't take it. My head jerks back and forth as my fingers quicken their pace. I go as deep as I can to pull maximum pleasure. Things begin to cascade my thoughts…

"_FREDDIEEEE!" "SAMMMMM!" _the arrow, the mirror. It all comes to me in mere moments and I realize… This masturbation session will only pain me and not pleasure me. I need more, but not just anything. I need the one thing my body aches for,

The one thing my body can no longer fake,

The one thing that sits behind a door that is less than twenty feet away…

_Freddie's manhood_.

And it needs to be in me now.

My body can no longer substitute such an object; no longer can it stay away. As I rearranged my clothes under the ashy brown covers, I slowly moved the covers off of me. I stood in the middle of the large room in a sky blue tee with a picture of a pirate logo on it and in black and pink pajama pants. I threw the covers back onto the couch and looked around for anything I'd need. When I looked at Spencer's sculpture, which was close to finished, my body shivered when the thought of Freddie making love to me came to mind. I quickly shook it off and, using my sneaking skills, quickly tiptoed to the door in my white cotton socks. When I reached the door, I turned around and went to my bag, which was sitting next to the desk, which was the pedestal for a light, a light that you had to yell "rampoo," to turn on. When I found my trusty tweezers, I pulled a hair clip out of my hair and turned back towards the door. I pushed on the door to stop it from opening violently, and then slowly turned the door handle. As the door slowly opened, I heard a slight squeak of the hinges. I bit my lip hoping that it wouldn't wake Spencer who was just down the hall to my left. When I realized no one was coming, I opened the rest of the door pretty quickly. I shut it tight, and let out a deep breath when I realized I was already halfway to becoming a woman. I gripped the doorframe, then in a swift motion turned on my heel. I was now face to face with Freddie's door. I hadn't noticed the color of the door until tonight; it was green, dark green like the leaves on a tree. I got down on my knees to pick the lock.

I pulled out my tools from my pocket and began to go to work. As I heard the locks slowly click there way to entrance, I hated the slowness of it. Although lock-picking is one of my most favorite hobbies, it is also the most aggravating. Luckily, I was slow enough to open the door in one shot. When I heard the faint click of the door to unlock I quickly jumped to my feet and repeated the open the door process like I did with Carly's door. When I got inside, the smell that hit me was an aroma of lilacs and raspberry's. In anyone else's home, this would be totally disgusting to me, but the thought of Freddie filled my mind to not care about it. I looked around in the complete and utter darkness to find the one room I've been in multiple times before. In fact… I'm the only girl that has been in his room. Carly has never once gone into his room for anything; I don't even think she knows what his room actually looks like. She always sent me to do all her dirty work, lazy little Carly. I looked around as my eyes slowly adjusted to the light. I found what I was looking for, a door with a small sign on it that read "Freddie's Room…" I remember that one day I came to get him, and Freddie and his mother were fighting over that sign. Freddie believed he was too old for such accommodations like that, it wasn't mature. As I stared, my body shivered again when I remembered the look he gave me that day. It was filled with sorrow, pain, and a deep emotional want, also known as love or was it lust, I can't remember the difference. Once the shiver encompassed my entire body, I tiptoed to his room, stopping just before I entered. As I touched the doorknob, a shock went through my body, to my center than to my legs. I took a deep breath causing the shock to become null in my body. In one swift motion, I threw open the door, just light enough to not cause Freddie to arise from his slumber.

He seemed to be having a good dream, holding his hands to his mouth while gripping his covers. I tilted my head and slowly walked up to him, after closing the door of course. I bent down on my knees and looked at his sleeping face. I took a hold of one his hands and pulled it to my lips; I gave a small kiss to his hand before standing up. As I held onto his hand, thoughts reeled through my head. A thought came to me, and with that thought in mind, I looked down at Freddie's comatose-like body and smiled devilishly. I pulled his hand up to my lips once more, and I began to suck on his index and middle finger, slowly and seductively. I pulled his fingers out of my mouth with a pop, slapping my mouth hoping his body did not recognize the sound. Realizing I was in the clear, I looked down at my pajamas. I pulled at the elastic and pushed his hand to gently tiptoe itself down to the place that house the fruits of my body. As his fingers passed my tender nub, my eyes shut close, quick and tight. I bit my lip as I got accustomed to his fingers being so close to my core. Slowly my eyes reopened as my hand guided it down to where Freddie's hand was. Holding onto his hand, I guided his fingers to the perfect places that caused my body to either go numb, a shock to close my eyes, or cause my legs to wobble.

As the feeling slowly diminished in time, I got bolder, forcing him to finger me. Slowly… slowly… slowly… By the time he was on his fifteenth push, I begged for release, begged for something… _more._ But I knew myself too much; I wanted to tease myself to painful levels. I wanted my body not just to plead for release, but also to pain for it. I wanted to feel the torture, to feel the sensation so close but never occurring. I wanted that pain; I wanted that desire, that lust… I wanted my body to need it to stay alive, to crave it, to require it. I wanted to kill myself with the frustration of coming ever so close to the orgasm of a lifetime and not even be able to touch it. It didn't take long. In another fifteen strokes, my core wanted something so nice that it was dripping constantly. It almost caused me to fall to my knees with how much juices I was overflowing. My mind went fuzzy ten times. I got bolder, very bolder.

I pulled his fingers out of me, wanting to thrust them back in to feel that touch forever. When they were completely out of my body and out of my pajamas, I stared at the soaked hand I held. It was covered in juices, my juices, as slick as oil and as shiny as metal. I was curious… so I pulled his fingers to my mouth and tasted my own juices, licking every inch of his hand. The taste was almost _perfect,_ it just need something, a kick. I pulled his finger out of my mouth once again and dropped his hand back onto the bed. He was lying on his side, so I lightly pushed him onto his back. He was covered in a sky blue felt blanket. I pulled it off to reveal a young man wearing a pair of black pajama pants, and a white beater. I licked my lips as I stared at his unresponsive body. As I pulled at his pajamas, something shot towards me in half a second. Stopping myself from going any further, I pulled my index finger to my face and wiped a tiny white droplet from my face. As I stared at it on my finger, like before I was curious, so I pulled my finger to my mouth and licked it.

Now this… was _perfect_. It had the taste of everything Freddie, the lilac, the raspberries, and many other things. Looking back down at his throbbing manhood, I stared at it staring straight upwards. I took a deep breath and a gulp as my body dropped back down to the floor. I was now staring at the arrow uncovered and open to all. I licked my lips as my breath hitched just a little. I closed my lips tightly as my tongue dashed around my mouth wanting to lick them even more. My eyes never ended their gaze with his rock hard member. My head leaned forward as I stared at it. My head hovered ever so slightly above it as my mouth opened just slightly in awe. Before I could even have time to think, something shot again, but this time it hit its mark. It had shot straight into my mouth. I leaned back gripping my mouth in anger until something _perfect_ ran through me. My tongue tasted the liquid in excess. The smell crawled its way up my nose and became all my lungs could breathe. It caused my body to tingle and my center to drip in more excessive increments. I wanted more… I wanted to have that taste in my mouth forever, it was just too addicting. I moved my head closer to the object of my desires. I opened my mouth slightly and dipped my head down slightly. I took the whole thing slowly and stayed down until I couldn't take it any longer. I repeated this several times. Going down, waiting for a couple of seconds, and then coming back up for air. On my seventh repeat, the _perfect_ taste shot again. Sadly, it quickly shot down my throat without me getting the chance to taste it thoroughly.

Freddie only moved once, just slightly, but not enough to wake him fully. As the taste cascaded down my throat, it entered my stomach where a jolt shot every crevice and every hidden part of my body. My center wanted everything he could give, it wanted to drain him completely so that he couldn't walk straight for months. Little did it know, it would get that wish.

As I stared at him pointing straight upwards as if nothing had happened, my teeth began to bite my lip and my heart was skipping like a stone. It got so bad that my back started hunching to feel a bit of comfort. My wingers began to wiggle inhumanly as I stared at the desire I wanted so badly. Slowly, I tiptoed closer to his bed. When I reached his bed, I pulled off his lower garments and threw them next to his computer. The underwear landed on the rim of the wastebasket and his pants were nearly falling off his desk. I looked over at the clothes and almost laughed out loud seeing the mess I made. The pants hit a jar of pencils, which fell to the floor. I put my hand to my mouth to stop any sound from escaping my lips until I heard a sound come from the bed that housed my boyfriend, as well as the only person who could ever satisfy my deepest desires.

**Grunt**

My eyes widened in horror believing I was caught, but as my eyes made a trail to his bed, I realized that he barely moved at all, all he did was rest his arm over his eyes. I let out a deep sigh of relief. As I slowly made my way to his bed, my heart raced for the finish line. When my knees were touching the metal of his bed frame, my breaths became that of a marathon runner who just finished his Tour de France. I looked down at the clothes I was wearing and I realized I was a bit _overdressed_ for the action I wanted ever so much to commit. I slowly slipped my black and pink pajama pants off first. As they fell to the floor, I slowly made my way up to my panties, lightly touching the skin of my legs with my fingertips. A shiver made its way up and down my spine in a matter of seconds. I was wearing frilly black panties I bought at build-a-bra, sorry I didn't think my first time was going to be me raping the love of my life. I slipped them off slowly; sadly they were sticking to my core so I couldn't take them off that quickly. When they snapped off my sticky center, I let out a low moan as the pull, back lashed upwards. When I was completely bottomless, I walked back over to his bed. I put my right hand onto his bed to get a feel to the comfort. I slowly crawled over top of him, like a lion that stalks it's prey. As time passed, I slowly got into my position over top of him. Before I was about to begin, a feeling of cold air gripped me like an icicle was just jabbed into my back. I turned around and wrapped his sky blue covers around me enough that I was semi warm.

I got into position once more, ready… willing… requiring… As I lowered myself, I thought to myself, this is what I've wanted; I wanted this for so long. It has been in my thoughts for the past three days constantly. My dreams are about to come true, my pining for him is about to come to fruition. I decreased the angle between us, and gripped him in my arms, feeling the soft cotton of his tee. His body felt warm like a fireplace, and he was thin because he felt empty. This depressed me. I outstretched my arms to lean over top of him, I smiled. I kissed his chest once. Gripping the blankets of his bed, I lowered myself. At first it felt like I had just had surgery with out any anesthesia right up my legs. The pain shot everywhere in my body, I almost couldn't take it when I felt something in my stomach. It felt weird but it felt amazing. I couldn't explain it if I tried. I pushed myself upwards, and then right back down, there it was again. I repeated this process ten times before I realized what that feeling actually was.

"Freddie… you hit my womb every time." I smiled as I pumped him in his sleep. The only movements he made were that of groans and a facial expression I wanted to see forever. His eyes squinted like he was sprayed by a can of pepper spray while his mouth was pulled to that of disgust. I felt his breath upon my face, which caused me to pump harder. I wanted him to wake up, to return my harsh pumping with fast and hard thrusts. But there was a part of me, a big part that didn't want him to wake up.

I felt something else in my stomach. Like a vice grip. It began to get worse the more I pumped. It got so bad that my hands clenched onto the sheets. I should have realized it, but I was having an orgasm, a very intense and drawn out orgasm. The tightness began to move downwards, slowly becoming more pleasurable with every inch closer to my core. When it reached the intersection between him and me, the tightness began to make me euphoric and dizzy. I tried to make it last longer, but with every pump it got harder to control my body. My eyes went to that of white light and my body felt like it does before it goes numb. I couldn't move without the feel of thumbtacks touching my body. I lasted as long as I could.

"Freddddddiiiiieee…." I whispered. "Erghhhhhhaaaaa…aaaaahhhh" it got even harder to feel my body. My arms became weak and soon they gave and my body fell onto his, but my hips still pumped. Without fail. I began to become afraid when even when I had absolutely no energy, my hips still moved. My teeth began to dig holes in my lips as the feeling gripped my hips causing them to burn. My arms wrapped themselves around Freddie's body, as my pumps got harder, harsher, lustier, and more intense. Soon my body got a mind of its own as the pumps got so fast that my core became numb. I grabbed Freddie tightly as I couldn't hold off any longer; I could tell he couldn't either. I looked at his scrunched up face and whispered, "Ohhhhh Gooddddeooddddddd Fredddddddieeeeaargghhhhhhh… NNNNNNGGHHHHH!" My breaths got heavy, my voice got weak, and my heart raced faster than I could have ever imagined. I pumped once more when wetness gripped my entire body. As the sweat retreated on my face, my fluids from every corner and crevice of my body ran, more like sprinted to our connection. When it got there, every drip and drop flooded out of my body onto him. My stomach began to feel just as empty as Freddie's did, maybe even emptier. I screamed as the pain and ecstasy entwined with each other. "ERRRRRAGGGHHHHH!" the pain felt like none I've felt before while the pleasure felt weird to me. Suddenly, I felt something else. As my fluids were pouring out, some fluids entered me as well. I could feel that they were Freddie's… He had cum inside of me… and it almost felt like my heart jumped out of my chest. My breath escaped me. I couldn't speak, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't feel.

As I slowly came down from my high, I realized I couldn't stay. I did break in, after all. As I lifted myself off of him, it felt like I just pulled a plug from an outlet. It didn't feel right to me without him, it felt empty. I don't know when I'll be able to do this again, that's what makes me feel so empty. I can hope it'll be soon, but I am a realist not an idealist. As I gather my stuff, I stop at his door and turn around. As I stare at the boy sleeping soundly in his bed, I blow a small kiss to him, I tap my hand on the doorframe and then I leave. When I return to my couch bed in Carly's house, I lie down and put my hand on my eyes in disgrace. I can't help but think…

I…

Just…

Raped Freddie…

**A/N- Sorry if this wasn't as great as I thought it would be… sorry… I knew this sex story… I even planned it out… but I just wasn't in the mood to write it… please be nice to me… I am a guy and I didn't know what a girl feels during sex… I can only imagine… or question… for those of you who think Sam's pregnant… no she's not… just think she's on BC pills… I just didn't want her to have a condom on… sex is better without it but you do take those typsa chances of pregnancy… not that I'd have a problem with having a child… I always wanted a daughter… don't know why… but I just always wanted a daughter instead of a son… don't make fun… well you learned something about me… yay for you…**

-Break-Break- (**A/N- if you wonder why I do this, it's because the stupid document uploader doesn't show the black line that is **_**supposed**_** to be above the break…**)

**FPOV**

Death isn't all its cracked up to be… You enter a black room and you basically just wait. Wait for life, death, heaven, or hell. I never understood it. They say your entire life passes before your eyes… but all that passed in front of mine were thoughts or memories of Sam. I left her saddened and depressed, thinking I didn't love her anymore. When I was in that black damn room, all I could see was Sam smiling, Sam's blue eyes, or hear Sam's voice. After awhile of heartbreaking moments passing before my eyes, I knew I couldn't leave her. I couldn't die without telling her I still loved her. What kind of heartless person would?

I jumped up to my feet and ran as fast as I could for an exit. Somewhere… Anywhere… After awhile, I began to actually see Sam in my mind. Like literally right in front of me. She was watching me as I ran for her. She kept running backwards as if trying to elude me. It pissed me off causing me to run after her faster. The faster I ran, the further away she got. It depressed me. I gave up… realizing I was getting nowhere. I dropped to my knees and cried, when it hit me, I'd never see Sam again. Her smiling, her voice, her punches, her kisses, her stares… Everything, not just the little things. As I held my head in my hands, I felt a comforting hand upon my shoulder. I stopped my tears, and looked to my left and saw the smile I've engraved into my mind for so long. Sam stood huddled over, smiling at me. I wanted to smile back at her. But before I could, she disappeared.

I jumped up and looked for her. I ran this way and that, that way and this. Till I hit something, that even you'd hit. I ran into a door… a door I can honestly say was transparent… Not a window door but an actual invisible door. As I got up from the fall, I looked ahead of me. I stood in front of the wall and pushed on it. I felt like I was in a stupid video game pushing on an invisible force field like the one that stood before me. As my mind ran to thoughts of a video game, I felt something protruding out of the wall, invisible as well. I gripped it, turned it and pushed. As I slowly walked inside a dark room, I noticed a couple of things. One, that this room looked familiar, and two, that I'd enjoy what was going to happen. As I stood just on the other side of the door I had entered through, I saw a light shining on a mirror-like surface. As I walked over to the mirror, I stood and looked at my reflection. Suddenly, I was unable to move. As I stood watching my reflection, a hand gripped my shoulder. But in the reflection, nothing was there. I glanced as far right as I could and saw a purple glove. The thought was clear and I knew that this person was definitely Sam.

As she slowly tiptoed around me to be directly in front of me, still holding onto my arm with her left hand, she looked… well since the word sexually arousing is not an adjective, I'll just say she looked… *cough* extraordinary. She was wearing everything I wanted her to be in, the lace bra, panties and gloves. I wanted to touch her body, to feel her silky smooth skin under my fingertips, but I was immovable, I was stuck to be sexually taunted.

She took her hand off my shoulder, turned around, and grinded me slowly. All I could do was give whimpering sounds. She pulled my left hand with hers and placed it upon her breast and slowly moved it to her stomach which caused her breath to cut and a sound come from her throat. "ernnnhhh…." Her stomach under my fingertips felt more to me than I could try to describe. She let my hand roam around her naval, causing me to wish my tongue was where my fingers were. She leaned her head against my shoulder and placed her right hand on the back of my head, still grinding me. It's not like she needed to, I already had the massive erection in my pants begging for the clothes that were between us to disappear.

After her sexually arousing grind on me, she pushed her upper body off of me causing our position to be completely sexual. My hand was still on her stomach holding her next to me. She then began to slowly bounce against me, giving the idea that she was having sex with me. In one speedy motion, she turned and stood straight, which caused my still hand to fall upon her nice curvy butt. She did not intend on this to happen, causing her to bite her lip tightly. She leaned into me, putting her lips close to my ear whispering. "Do you want more?" I wanted to scream yes, but my mouth and the words were still not allowed to come out. Luckily, she felt my throbbing and twitching manhood inside my boxers. She pulled back to show me the wide smile she put on.

"Ahhhhhh, I see…" She slowly, with her finger, traced my chest downwards towards my boxers. Still with her lace glove upon her hand, she pulled open my boxers and stuck her hand in. She began to jack me off with her hand, the lace glove was making me go insane. She did it slowly, very very slowly, pulling it towards her than pushing it against me. My breath was getting deeper, and her smile got wider. Her eyes squinted as her motions got increasingly faster. She was biting her lips and staring straight at me as she still jerked me off with a gloved hand. My heart was beating erratically, and sweat dripped from my body without fail. I felt it coming, but for some reason something was stopping it. I whimpered for release that wouldn't come. Maybe this is my hell, to be so close but can never do. Hell is supposed to be torture, and _this_… is torture. My torture is to be sexually aroused by the girl I love and have all of my sexual arousal hibernate in my erect manhood begging waiting for release.

As time passed, my manhood began to engorge in the amount of cum just waiting to spray out like a fire hydrant. Sam's toothy grin told me she didn't want me to release. She began to kiss my neck making the pain even worse, and the desire to take her even stronger and more agonizing.

"you want to cum, don't you… well I won't allow that…" she started going faster making me writhe in pain. My manhood wanted to explode, but she just wanted me to be in such pain that I can't imagine anything worse. I can only give it one comment, blue balls in its extreme form to the even exponentially extreme.

After an hour of being stroked by Sam, I was still unable to cum. My teeth began to grit as sweat of immense proportions fell from my forehead.

"Cum for me… cum buckets for me… give me it all…" suddenly my stomach was tensing and my voice began to release its hold. We locked eyes and suddenly I felt it, a sound coming from my throat and the release my body longed for.

"SAMMMMMMMM!" as the burst shot so hard that it went all over her hand. She pulled her hand out from my boxers and brought it to your lips. She slowly parted her lips and stuck her finger in slowly. My mouth agape, I felt a surge through my body as a second orgasm gripped my body as I grabbed her ass harshly in my hand.

"SAMMMMM!"

"FREDDIEEEE!" I heard her moan in my ear…

"Did we just have sex… because I think I just came…" I whispered trying to be funny.

She went beat red as I smiled at her. She jumped on top of me and kissed me and began to grind me.

"Why do you have to torture me?…" I said a little more peeved than I expected.

She looked at me teary eyed, "I'm sorry." She got off of my bed and sat in her chair next to me looking down, still crying.

"I didn't mean it like that… It's just I had this crazy ass dream… and I- you were there…" I said as sincerely as I possibly could. She glanced up with eyes red as a summer sunset. All I could feel was depression, heartbreak, and guilt. I'm unsure if she and I are still boyfriend and girlfriend after what happened that day. She broke my heart, and I just yelled at her affections… I'm a horrible person…

Maybe that's why I'm in this predicament. We have not spoken for three days. It might be just bad blood right now. I knew after our first fight that what she needs right now is space and she'll come to me soon enough. (**A/N- I just wanted to add that in for humor**) My dreams tonight were nothing short of sexually arousing.

It began with me in the middle of a park. As I walked along the path that divided the square, I came across a tree. On the tree, a sentence was sculpt into the bark.

'Come XX me… and Come to See' two letters after the first 'Come' were scratched off. I looked at it closer, but I couldn't make it out. As I stared the park I was standing in began to vanish but not completely. Everything around me became blurry. I began to run down the hazy pathway until I found someone who was easy to see.

"Sam? What are you doing here…?" I walked up to her as she was holding onto a tree. I heard a soft groan, "nggggghhhh…" in the next instant, she was gone. Everything around me became clear but was replaced with a room, _my_ room. I walked around it slowly until everything became blurry once more. As I turned my head trying to find something _clear, _I found it… right next to my bed. Sam crouched onto her knees into a praying fashion. She moved her head forwards, then the event disappeared and cleared once more. This time when it cleared, I was in my bed, but I was unable to move, like Hell. I tried to look around but my sight was blurry and my eyes were fixed downwards. Suddenly I saw someone, a female girl, with blonde and brunette hair. She had her hand on my manhood and she was crouching over top of me.

She slowly lowered upon me, and I felt the moisten inside of her core. I will never forget the scrunched up look on her face. She slowly went lower and the tightness of her core cleared up my vision. She put her hand upon my chest and I felt her fear in her trembling hand. If I had the ability, I'd cry right then. When I was fully inside of her, my manhood felt scrunched. She very slowly pulled herself up, and then slowly pushed her way down. Again, I felt the crampness of my manhood inside of her.

"Freddie… you hit my womb every time." she whispered. I wanted to give the biggest smile I ever had but fear of this great moment ending stopped me from doing so.

The ecstasy her moisten insides felt like the ecstasy that I got from coming after an hour of being forced to hold it in. My tongue began to dart around my mouth as the wetness could almost be taste in my mouth.

She began to go fast, making my ecstasy even greater and more intense. After awhile, my ecstasy came to fruition as my cum built itself up inside of me. I began to hear pants come from her.

"Freddddddiiiiieee….Erghhhhhhaaaaa…aaaaahhhh" the tightness gripped me harshly. I wanted to cum so hard but I knew I could last at least a bit longer.

"Ohhhhh Gooddddeooddddddd Fredddddddieeeeaargghhhhhhh… NNNNNNGGHHHHH!" Her tightness was almost unfathomable. I could feel droplets escape my throbbing manhood. I knew I could last longer, just a little bit longer, I had to, for her sake. I threw my arm over my face, to stop me from screaming from the amount of ecstasy, luckily she thought it was just a night movement as she kept going.

She wrapped her arms around my body as I felt the cum about to explode.

"ERRRRRAGGGHHHHH!" she thrust down harshly as her body pushed at me, and she pumped me one last time causing an abundance of cum to enter her fast and almost unhuman. I wanted to just keep coming, to never stop, but soon I did. She kissed my chest and slowly got off. With my arm still shielding my eyes, I heard her move about my room and then leave. When my door was completely closed, I smiled the widest I have ever done. I took a deep breath and said out loud.

"I just fucked Sam…

And it…

Was…

AWESOMEEEE!"

-Break-Break-

**A/N- I know my sex scenes weren't as great as time should have given them, but this chapter I just was never in the mood for… I'm sorry if it didn't make you happy, it was totally my fault… I'm sorry it is also like a week late… I outlined it… maybe that's why it sucks… please review…**

**Review to tell me if you liked it… masturbated to it… dreamt of it… please tell me if it at least was good… That I did right by my fans…**

**Next chapter is more masturbation… because Sam still doesn't know that Freddie was awake… soooo she doesn't know that she and Freddie can have sex again…**

**Review to tell me if my story is going slightly well…**

Next Chapter- _"All for an empty hotel…"_


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